


Be Careful What You Wish For

by Firball82



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Don’t copy to another site, F/M, I'm thinking of all this ahead of time but long story short this OC inquisitor is a bit of a ho, Multiple Partners, Possible Threesomes - Freeform, Self-Indulgent, Sex in later chapters, Slow Burn, i mean that in the sweetest way possible, idk - Freeform, or more
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-12
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2019-10-26 15:22:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 23,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17748407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Firball82/pseuds/Firball82
Summary: Andi has no direction in life. Sure, she's going to school and holds a part time job, but everything is starting to become... Mundane. Will being stuck in unfamiliar circumstances be just what she needs? Or will it remind her that there is no place like home? Finding out is gonna be hard, just the way she hates it.





	1. Fresh Start

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first OC posting ever. Yes, it is shamelessly self indulgent, but I'm also trying to focus more on the characters we know and love. And yes, I wished it was possible to be in more than one relationship in DA:I cause lets face it, they got it going on. Hope ya'll enjoy!

“Fuuuuc-…Nooo,” the defeated whine came from Andi as she dropped her controller to her lap, her crossed legs threatening to cramp if they were not stretched soon. Again. she had died AGAIN. Samson was just too damn hard. Iron Bull had fallen early, and it seemed to signal the outcome of her final attempt. Or, what she swore was her final attempt. This was several attempts in, the digital clock on her nightstand reading somewhere past midnight. Her tired eyes could barely distinguish the numbers as she turned her attention back to the scene of the Arbor Wilds, weakly picking up the controller as she unfolded her legs and leaned closer to the screen.

Dammit…Dammit dammit dammit, she thought as she pulled up the main menu to check, fruitlessly, if she had any save file before the Arbor Wilds. The screen reported with the same results as before. Grip tightening on the controller she let out a gust of anger and despair in a huff.

“I have to start over,” she mumbled to herself as she leaned back, quit her current game, and cycled back to the main screen where templars and mages of infinite number marched to their demise. Almost too hard, she pushed the button to start a new game. Perhaps, this time, she’d role an elven female. From the info she had gleaned online just shortly after purchasing Dragon Age: Inquisition, female elves seemed to have the highest amount of characters that could be romanced. That wasn’t the main reason she bought the game, but it was a perk seeing as her own romantic life was virtually non-existent.

God, I’m tired, Andi thought as a yawn threatened to crack her jaw. She had purchased the game early in the morning from a used game shop that was going out of business. Her friend, Julie, had made a vague comment on how the selection sucked.

“Well, they are going out of business,” Andi had replied, glancing at the shops only attendant. He gazed at them, pensive, giving Andi the willies.  
Julie had scoffed but nodded as she flipped through a bin marked “$5 or less”.

Andi turned her attention back to the many battered cases before her eyes landed on a surprisingly pristine title. Dragon Age: Inquisition had been out for years now, but she had yet to get around to it though she had played its predecessors. The second installment had left her unimpressed and life, unfortunately, demanded most of her attention afterwards.

“Game of the year addition,” Andi announced to no one in particular as picked up and examined the case. Julie made a grunt of acknowledgement as the she sauntered to Andi’s side.

“Might as well get it, it’s only ten bucks,” Julie said with a shrug as Andi chewed her cheek. Andi had been looking for a new adventure, having some spare time for once since graduating high school however many years ago.

When they approached the counter, the clerk gave them a wry smile. He was strange but, recalling it, Andi couldn’t remember any distinct features of his person. She did remember how thrilled he was to be selling the game, though.

“Oh, you’ll really enjoy this one, especially if you’re looking for adventure.”

It had unnerved Andi how close he was to her thought process, but she brushed it off with a nod and that was it for the rest of her day.

Andi had then been playing since getting home at noon. This was how she planned to spend her vacation, pathetic as it was. However, it wasn’t like she was saving up her time off for anything special. The summer was almost over, and she would be starting her next quarter of biology soon. Might as well have fun before all the long hours of study and work get to you again, she grumbled internally as she went through her character creation.

The elf did come out rather feminine. Her large, hazel eyes were lined with thick lashes and her brows were neat. Her nose was slender and slightly pointed with a dusting of freckles across the slightly crooked bridge. Her pink lips held an inviting quality to them as her dimpled cheeks suggested that she was on the verge of smiling. Her hair fell in a messy fashion, that of a shaggy boy cut and was the color of copper.

“Hey there, beautiful,” Andi sighed wistfully, proud of her attention to detail, unlike the stock female Qunari she had accidentally crafted last game. It wasn’t on purpose, Andi had been too excited to play to worry about nit-picking her character and all but jumped through the character creation menu. Now, she was taking her time, she had tomorrow off.

As she deliberated on a name, her eyes watered and itched with threat of sleep. Maybe it would be a good idea to pick this up tomorrow. 

With a sigh, Andi leaned over and grasped for her remote to turn off the TV. It lay further up the bed where she was perched at the end. She made a mental note to keep the object in one centralized location as she pressed the power button. As the screen went black she stared at herself in its reflection. She looked wrecked, the floor lamp beside the entertainment center illuminating her small studio apartment well enough. 

There was no point in switching off the console, she knew she’d be returning to it first thing tomorrow morning. Besides, I’m the only one using the electricity, she thought vaguely as she stood with a groan. Her joints protested and creaked after being in the same position for so long. Rolling her neck from side to side, she threw back the sheets of her bed before going to switch off the lamp. The room was plunged into darkness, save the illuminated button on her gaming console, reminding her that it waited, diligent as ever. Shuffling forward, slightly blind, she made it to her bed. Flopping down unceremoniously, she hummed with exhaustion.

“Too bad… This game isn’t…real,” she mumbled to herself as she fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

\--

It was 3 am when the Console whined and spun up, the TV flickering briefly before turning on completely. The character creation screen that was once dim came back to life with brilliant color. Andi laid inert, unaware as tendrils of vapor began to stretch and form from the screen. They spilled forward, creeping along the floor, searching. They whispered in tones of urgency as they crawled up the bedframe. Andi groaned and shifted as the tendrils finally found what they searched for. Grasping her by the ankle, they pulled.  
Gasping, Andi’s eyes snapped open as she was yanked halfway down her bed.   
“What the fu-?!” she started but the words were lost as, with another heavy tug, she was pulled feet first into the fade.

\--

The first thing Andi became aware of was the heavy weight holding her down to the floor where she rested on her knees. Then, it was her massive headache. Squeezing her eyes shut, her head pulsed with the pain. She needed to figure out where she was. 

Was she kid-napped? Was this a dream? Her mind raced as she tried to recall what had happened. Opening her eyes, she tried unsuccessfully to repress a gasp. She recognized the ill-lit dungeon even before Cassandra and Leliana approached, mistrust and rage ill-concealed in their eyes. 

How could this be happening? Andi panicked, bucking against her constraints as everything truly set in. This wasn’t real, she must’ve had a stroke, or died, this couldn’t be real.  
Her breaths rushed to and from her roughly as she began to shake, Cassandra’s gaze turning to that of confusion.

“What is happening?” the seeker barked but those guarding her were just as much as at a loss as they took up defensive position.

Striding forward, Leliana quickly struck Andi on the cheek. The blow had little to no power behind it, but it was enough to shock Andi into more controlled breathing. That hadn’t happened in her play-through. Then again, this was a far cry from controlling a character on a screen.

“I don’t know what happened,” Andi gasped before Cassandra could even open her mouth in question. The seekers eyes hardened as she took Leliana’s place in front of Andi.

“You lie,” She hissed, her Nevarran accent bleeding through heavily with her rage. In any other situation, Andi would have marveled at the detailing that her TV screen didn’t show. She could see every scar on the seekers face, every emotion, even the pores that were irritated by the ash and dirt of the sacred temple of ashes explosion. The seeker was much more striking than the screen had suggested and that made her even more terrifying in her rage.

“I swear to God, I have no clue what’s going on or how I got here, I’m just a-,” Andi babbled uncontrollably until the Seeker hauled her up to her feet, bringing them nose to nose. The seekers ill-concealed anger made Andi flinch, trying to recoil as best she could. Cassandra growled at the gesture.

“Which god do you serve, elf?” Leliana piped up, interrupting the stare down. Her expression was much harder to read than Cassandra’s, but Andi could see that curiosity was becoming the dominate emotion. Like Cassandra, the screen did her no favors. The Nightingale possessed a much heavier presence than Andi originally gathered from her first play through. Leliana was like a viper lying in wait to strike, and Andi was her target. 

Fuck, that’s right, she had created an elf before passing out last night.

“I, uh,” this dream was getting too real, but maybe if she played along, she could survive and figure out how to get the hell out of it. 

“I was simply here to observe,” Andi finally admitted, trying to recall exactly what was happening in the beginning. This was not like Dragon Age: Origins, where she had played through too many times to count, practically memorizing all the character dialogue. She was in unfamiliar territory, especially since she had yet to even complete the game.

“Observe? Then how did this come to be?” Cassandra hissed, having let go of Andi’s shirt collar to grab her marked hand and show it to her. Andi gasped in pain, not realizing how tender it was. The seeker was not being gentle either.

“Listen, I don’t know how it got there,” Andi groaned weakly, “But I would be more than happy to help you figure it out, please…” A half-truth, but it convinced Cassandra enough to drop her grasp and jerk her chin towards the door. Leliana watched silently as the pair passed, Andi keeping her gaze low. She knew that Leliana saw through her but why the Nightingale said nothing, she wasn’t sure. In fact, Leliana was supposed to be heading to the forward camp by now…

Andi had to blink several times as the light invaded her vision but when she saw the breach she couldn’t repress her horrified gasp. Cassandra glanced back at her grimly but made no comment as Andi slowly walked past to take in the scene, still slack jawed. 

It swallowed the sky like a black hole, giving no indication that there was anything but the breach. Andi swallowed down the lump of terror that had formed in her throat as Cassandra continued an explanation she could barely register. Andi knew what was to come next.

A pulse ripped from the breach sending Andi to her knees with a cry of agony. How her previous inquisitor was not rendered catatonic was a mystery to her as pain shot up her hand and raced through her veins, striking every nerve she possessed.

Cassandra helped her to her feet with a look of chagrin. At least it gave the seeker no pleasure to see Andi in pain.

“Come along, we need to try and seal the breach,” was all the seeker offered as she cut the tether binding Andi’s wrists then turned to head up the path.

Andi followed along, making little to no comment as the seeker went through her spiel on how Andi’s guilt was already decided by those around her. She was still dumbstruck as they began to jog towards the breach, Andi’s stomach turning as she took in all what her screen had not detailed. She could smell blood and burning flesh as the wind blew down the mountain. She could see those who were teetering on the edge being treated by desperate healers. The cold bit at her face but she could hardly feel it as they trudged up the steep path, muscles protesting. It was all so horrible.

Just when the ache of the mark was beginning to drift to the back of her mind, another pulse sent her to her knees. Cassandra stopped abruptly and, once again, pulled the outsider to her feet. The seeker smiled sadly as she muttered that the pulses were coming faster.

Andi bit her tongue, trying not to mutter “no shit,” as they started up the mountain again. 

It didn’t take long before the pair reached the bridge that was doomed to explode, leading them to confront their first enemies, the ones she had faced in the tutorial. 

The shades were much more monstrous than Andi imagined. The creature that set sights on her looked like a half-melted sludge demon, its face twisted into what must’ve been human at some point. It twitched and spasmed its way towards her as she stood, horror struck, glued to the frozen river below her after having righted herself. Cassandra, having already ran head long into battle, left Andi defenseless, scrambling for something to defend herself with. 

Panic blinded her, however, as the shade hulked closer, raising its clawed hands to swipe at Andi. She cried out in terror, pulling her hands in front of her to defend herself.

Like being shocked by the friction one gets by shuffling socked feet on carpet, Andi felt as lightening gathered at her fingertips before striking wildly at the shade. Unlike the game, it did not take a sustained assault to kill an opponent. The shade shrieked in pain before falling limp, bubbling into a black stain on the ice.

Breathing hard, Andi looked down at her hands in amazement. How and the hell did she do that?

Before she could delve to deeply into her wonder, Cassandra gave out a cry of rage as she sunk her blade into the shade she was still in combat with. Andi blinked and gave a less panicked look around, seeing a simple wooden staff caste to the side. Ah, right, she had decided upon a mage before heading to character creation the night prior, if it wasn’t obvious by now.

Was it the night prior? She thought weakly as she picked up the staff and leaned heavily against it, suddenly feeling exhausted as the marvel of her new powers waned. She felt like she had run a marathon, her body ached, and her mind seemed to teeter on the edge of consciousness as Cassandra pulled her blade from the shade only to turn it on Andi almost immediately. 

Andi sighed as she dropped the staff, holding both hands up in submission.

“No need to point that thing at me, I’m not gonna use the staff unless you allow it,” Andi replied before Cassandra could even begin. Cassandra eyed her, clearly caught off guard before she sheathed her blade with a sigh.

“I must remember that you’ve agreed to come willingly, and I cannot protect you,” the seeker said aloud before jerking her head to the staff. Andi stooped down to pick it up as the seeker began up the path again, saying something about the others fighting ahead. Andi felt her heart flutter as she bit her bottom lip. She needn’t ask who Cassandra spoke of as they reached the drop off that led to the first tear in the veil, she already knew the pair of men that fought very well.

Andi had run through every dialogue option possible with Varric and Solas in her first play through, though she had been unable to pursue a romantic relationship with either. Varric was still in love with Bianca (and of no interest to Andi other than a companion) and Solas, well… Andi had found out horns were definitely not his thing. 

“Pleased you could finally make it, seeker!” Varric called out, borderline sarcastic, as he sent an arrow right through a shade’s face.

Cassandra scoffed angrily as she joined the fighting right away, leaving Andi to clamber down the small drop off by herself. Almost as soon as her feet touched the snow-covered ground, Solas was approaching, reaching for her hand.

“Quickly!” Was all she was afforded before Solas pulled her to the tear and thrust her marked hand forward. 

Andi had to resist the urge to cry out in pain as the mark’s power flooded forward, stitching the tear back together. There was no indication on how painful using the mark was when used, but it felt as though it tugged at the very tips of her being, attempting to unravel her existence as penance for using the cursed thing.

“Fuck!” Andi screamed as the tear finally snapped shut, leaving her to fall to her knees. Solas and Varric stared in surprise as Cassandra simply huffed, pulling Andi up once again. If the seeker wasn’t careful, Andi would begin to depend upon her anytime she fell.

“Well, she’s got a way with words,” Varric chuckled after a lengthy silence, save for Andi’s panting breaths.

“That…Fucking hurts,” Andi managed as she once again used her staff for support, letting her eyes close tight. She felt a wave of dizziness rush over her, like when she had taken one too many shots in less than an hour. She swayed, almost succumbing to the unconsciousness that had threatened her moments before. 

“Relax, I won’t let you pass just yet,” Andi felt a gentle hand on the back of her exposed neck and a wave of relief flooded over her damaged body. It felt like she had slipped into a cool bath, a pleasant tingling ebbing through her.

“Thank you, Solas,” The name slipped from her lips on a sigh as her eyes opened to the sight of the elf. She had to bite her cheek to keep from gasping. He was much more handsome than she had originally thought, though he had caught her eye many a time before. Now, being able to see ever freckle, every scar, it was mesmerizing. 

“Ah, the seeker has told you of me,” Solas smiled politely and Andi had to look away. Shit, shit, shit, Andi chided herself, glancing back at said seeker. Andi could’ve laughed with relief when she saw the seeker was bickering with Varric about leaving the fight to the professionals. 

“Yes, and thank you for keeping me alive while I was passed out,” Andi said hastily, hoping that acknowledging it would end the conversation there as she kept her eyes on Varric and Cassandra. 

With a huff, the seeker turned and stalked away from Varric, queuing him to saunter over to the two elves with a surprisingly light-hearted grin.

“Varric Tethras, at your service,” the dwarf introduced himself with a grand bow and wink before patting behind his back, “And this is my lovely assistant, Bianca.”

“I’m…Uh,” Andi chewed her bottom lip as she realized she had yet to name her character, and there was no way she was giving them her very human, very ordinary name.

“Uh, such a pretty name,” Varric remarked, grinning as Solas rolled his eyes and Cassandra all but tapped her toe, impatiently waiting.

“Sorry, I’m a little frazzled,” Andi replied, steeping her tone in bewilderment.

“Your body has been through much, perhaps we should focus on sealing the breach, we will have time for introductions later,” Solas said gently, unknowingly coming to Andi’s rescue. She glanced at him, flashing a grateful smile as she nodded.

“Well…Bianca’s excited!”


	2. In the Thick of it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andi is holding on by a thread, this is not what she was expecting. How is she going to make it out if the tutorial is enough to send her screaming? Maker help this poor child.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It takes a lot more work then I thought to set the stage. I'll be glossing over some of the major details unless there is something that is completely different than the plot of the game, just for the sake of time and sanity. Let me know if there's anything that needs clarifying and enjoy ;)

The rest of the way up to the forward camp went much smoother with Varric and Solas at their side, though Varric was much more talkative than Andi realized. He asked her every question under the breach as they continued up the mountain, all to which Andi answered, “I can’t remember.” The dwarf was good natured about it, but Andi could see there was a curiosity in his gaze that wouldn’t be stifled. She would have to start “remembering” things quick.

When they reached the forward camp, Andi blinked in surprise. Leliana stood, arguing with Chancellor Roderick, unperturbed by their arrival. How the spymaster had made it up before them was a marvel to her, but she supposed Varric was right when he mentioned something about her being resourceful. 

Too exhausted to dilly dally, Andi held up a hand to silence Chancellor Roderick before he could truly get started as they approached.

“Listen,” she groaned as she cracked her knuckles and rolled her neck, “I don’t have time for the half-assed accusations that I’m sure you have plenty of. Let’s get down to business, tell me where to go and who’s ass to kick.”

Stunned silence greeted Andi before Varric chuckled and Leliana raised a hand to cover a smile that threatened her lips. Solas simply cocked his eyebrow while Cassandra made a noise of what sounded like approval. Andi knew it wasn’t her smartest move but, from what she recalled, Chancellor Roderick wouldn’t be much of a problem in the future.

“I-…You-…Divine!” Chancellor Roderick sputtered, shock beginning to turn to outrage before Leliana and Cassandra began discussing logistics. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Andi grumbled as she leaned against the bridge side, letting the women debate on what path to take while chancellor Roderick pouted off to the side. She knew she would make the decision, ultimately, but for now she was taking advantage of the small reprieve. 

Wincing, Andi reached down to rub her aching knees. They had been running for less than half a day now, if she guessed correctly, but it was still taking its effects.

“You ok there?” Varric asked and Andi tried to repress a groan as she found a tender spot below her knee with her fingertips. She gave a brief nod, electing not to answer aloud. She didn’t trust her voice as a wave of despair washed over her and her eyes grew misty. How the hell was she going to survive this if she could barely get through the tutorial?

“I’ll tell you what I’m looking forward to after we close this breach,” Varric went on, taking a rest beside her, “A good flagon of ale, maybe a game of wicked grace, and a nice lady to chat with.”

His tone was gentle, and Andi had no idea what he was getting at. She wiped her eyes and glanced at him. He was gazing back the way he came, toward Haven, a neutral look on his face.

“What about you?” The archer asked after his moment of reflection, kind eyes turning to look at Andi.

“Sleeping,” Andi replied without a moment of hesitation. That brought a smile to Varric’s face as he nodded. Andi knew he was trying to get on her good side, see what stories he could worm out of her, but she cared little at the moment.

“I, too, would enjoy a long sleep,” Solas piped up, having been not so subtly eaves dropping. Andi spared him a look, a blush threatening her cheeks. It was like grade school all over again where she didn’t know how to express her crush and would fall silent. Luckily, Varric was there to save the conversational day.

“I had no idea that you were the type to sleep, you seem like you’ve been awake for years now, chuckles,” Varric teased, tapping under his eye in reference of Solas’s dark circles. 

“It had been a trying time for all, Varric, you would do well to remember that,” the mage replied coolly as he looked to Andi, then back at Cassandra and Leliana as they began towards the group. 

“We have precious little time to waste, Leliana,” Cassandra was saying as they joined the others, “We must join the forward assault-,” “But what of the scouts on the mountain? Would you allow them to perish?”

The women continued to bicker, and Andi sighed, shrugging away from the support of the bridge side, her knees grinding in protest. Everyone looked to her as she held up a hand, saying nothing. Surprised by how effective the gesture was, Andi almost forgot what she was going to say.

“Uh, right,” she mumbled as she lowered her hand back to her side, “we will take the mountain path while Leliana and whoever she has at her disposal continues the forward assault.”

“But it will take more time than we can afford,” Cassandra protested, eyes narrowing, fists clenching. Andi almost balked but she knew the scouts in the mountains would not survive without their help.

“Would you honestly sleep well at night knowing there was some way you could’ve saved those scouts and instead you left them to die?” Andi asked quite frankly as she brushed past the group and headed towards the path, regardless of if they followed or not.

\--

The trek up the mountain side was more work than Andi anticipated, her feet slipping from both the ice and exhaustion. But she had to press on, knowing that the scouts were fending off the demons as best as they could. The others spoke in low voices, speaking about the mining complex they trekked through. It was suspiciously void of enemies, unsettling Andi as she took a moment to breath. 

“Seeker,” Varric began as Andi headed up the final path to the mines exit, “do you hear that?”

Before Cassandra could respond, Andi set sights on what Varric was referring to. 

They had arrived as the terror demons were ripping through the scouts that were to be corpses by the time they arrived. Andi froze as she watched a scout, screaming in agony be torn asunder by the spindly beast. Cassandra pushed past her, giving an intimidating war cry that gathered the attention of all but the remaining scouts as they quickly fell back to the waiting rift. 

“Come on, kid! It won’t be any better if you don’t seal that rift!” Varric yelled, having slipped past to join the fight. Andi barely registered it though, her mind was shutting down from sheer terror. The pain of her mark doing nothing to hold her in reality as it pulsed from proximity.

“Da’lan,” Solas murmured softly in her ear as he grasped her unmarked hand, fingers lacing through hers “you must do this.”

Andi’s gaze snapped to Solas at his touch. His outline was blurred due to her tears, but she could see the resolve in his eyes. He truly believed in her.

Swallowing back the lump in her throat, Andi nodded. With some stiffness, she willed her legs to carry her to the rift that was just out of sight. What adrenaline she had left spiked, pushing her forward though she slipped on the snow laden ground. Solas continued to hold her hand, adding what support he could as he flung spells with eerie precision at those who tried to stand in their way. Cassandra and Varric did well at deterring most of the demons’ attention as Andi all but fell forward, marked hand outstretched. 

Without much resistance, the rift began to close. Once again, it pulled at Andi’s soul but this time she could do nothing but whimper softly. She had nothing left in her to protest.

The rift snapped close as the last wisp screamed out of existence leaving the area stark silent. This lasted only seconds though as the remaining scouts cried out in victory.

On her knees now, Andi fought with the looming blackness that threatened the corners of her vision. This wasn’t even the end of it yet.

“Hush, it will be alright,” she vaguely noted that someone was cradling her to them as a racking sob shook her lithe body. It felt like minutes before Andi was able to stifle her crying and open her burning eyes. Her head was tucked against Solas’ chest as he simply stroked her hair. How and the hell did her inquisitor make it through this? She supposed being not real would’ve helped.

“You did good, kid,” Varric muttered as he squatted down beside the pair, gently clapping his hand on Andi’s shoulder, “and it’s not fair, but we’re going to have to ask for a little bit more from you.”

The way the dwarf said it so kindly, a look of concern mixed with hope in his gaze, stoked Andi’s resolve as she gave a determined nod. Standing, she felt Solas rise with her as he broke his hold. She gave her fellow elf a look of what she hoped conveyed gratitude before she trudged over to Cassandra who was giving orders to the remaining scouts. 

The warrior made no comment of Andi’s break down as the scouts gave their thanks before heading back the way the party came. Instead, she cast her gaze towards the breach and then back to Andi. Andi sighed and gave a curt nod.

“I’ve got this,” was all Andi said and they pressed on.

\--

The battle at the Breach was nothing short of a miracle to survive. Andi had known what was coming and simply brushed any comment or question from the group off. She had no time to explain especially as the pride demon arrived.

Andi wasn’t sure what she had left to give but when push came to shove, she was able to seal the breach. As the last fissure closed, she breathed deeply in, the blackness that loomed at the corners of her vision flooding in. She could hear the cheers of success as her knees gave way. She wasn’t sure if anyone would catch her. Who would even care to?

\--

The feeling of sleeping for so long felt wrong. She had missed her alarm going off, she was probably late for work. The mail would need fetching and surely, she would need to get up and use the bathroom soon. Her bladder confirmed the lazy thought. She needed to get up, but it was so difficult. There was a feeling of urgency, but it was outweighed by the exhaustion that kept her semi-conscious. She could hear voices whispering and she knew this should frighten her since she lived alone but again, the exhaustion was too great. Once again, she fell back into unconsciousness.

\--

Her dreams were odd, noisy, and non-sensical. Dread began to seep in, demons prowled at the edge of her vision. She crawled through dark green sludge, desperate to reach anything to hold onto. She was beginning to drown, darkness closing in when light perforated her gaze and a hand grasped hers. With a gasp, she was pulled free of the mire and her eyes beheld a figure bathed in light. 

Shielding her eyes with her free hand, she tried to make out her savior, but the waking world had other ideas.

\--

All at once, Andi returned to herself. Pitching forward, she gasped like she hadn’t taken a breath for minutes, sweat dripping down her brow. She expected to be back in her apartment, having suffered from the worst nightmare of her life but was instead greeted by the familiar, yet foreign, confines of her room at Haven. 

Her stomach roiled and, if it had not been empty, she would have vomited. Instead, stumbling to her feet and then falling to her knees, she dry heaved beside the hearth as a fire crackled calmly. This went on for several seconds until she had begun to sweat again, and her stomach settled, allowing her to take deep, gasping breaths. She sat back, eyes closed tight as the nausea subsided. Putting her head between her knees, she rode out the slight tremor that followed the realization that she was stuck here for God knew how long.

Vaguely, she heard the door swing open. There was the servant that was to check on her. She could hear the tray clatter to the floor as the elf gasped.

"Please…Just please, don’t,” Andi muttered as she tilted her head up to look at the kneeling woman, “I don’t want or deserve that kind of reverence, especially since I just puked stomach acid all over the clean floor.”

Andi felt grimy, sweaty, disgusting, somewhat hungry, and several other emotions. But deserving was not one of them. 

The elven woman stood swiftly, unsure of what to do next. Andi wasn’t entirely sure either, but she managed to hoist herself back up onto the bed in a sitting position. This was going to be a long day.


	3. The Color Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andi is reborn! Now how will she begin to navigate a world where she isn't who she claims to be? Good thing the clan Lavellan isn't around to poke holes in her already flimsy facade.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, kinda finally starting to get this down. Yes, Andi is being a bit of a cry baby to start, but who wouldn't in these circumstances? Anyways, I'm using Lingojam to translate the Elvish so here's hoping it's correct. I'll post translations in the notes if they're new to the story.
> 
> Ma serannas = My thanks  
> Grasal'in = Redhead  
> Lin = Blood  
> Da'lan (previous chapter) = Girl

“So, finally going to give us that name, kid?” Varric asked as her sat at the table Andi had claimed in the back corner of the small tavern that resided in Haven. Her assumption was correct from what seemed like days ago even though it was only that morning. The day dragged on as the beginning of the inquisition came to pass. She had met with Cassandra and Leliana in the chantry and they set everything in motion, just as she remembered. But, instead of a sweeping cut scene they women told Andi they would send for her when she was needed. 

This led to her wandering about Haven, cataloging the areas she was familiar with and picking up the side quests she knew would be quick and beneficial. She met with Adan after retrieving the papers he needed from the cabin just outlying the bounds of Haven. He had been surprised then grateful which was a relief. Having done this quest before, Andi didn’t know why she expected anything else. Quartermaster Threnn was much the same, though slightly more subdued, when Andi provided gather iron and a marking on the map where she found a small logging site. 

Andi had felt eyes on her as she moved about but she had a feeling it was more than likely one of Leliana’s scouts.

Regardless, Andi went about as if she belonged, speaking to the blacksmith about outfitting the troops and browsing Seggrit’s wares by the time mid-day rolled around.  
Now all she wished to do was drown her sorrows with booze, ale, or whatever Flissa, the tavern keeper, had that was strongest.

Solas, who was sitting nearby said table when Andi had first arrived, tilted his head slightly to the side. He had been reading from a book whose title Andi couldn’t make out, but he had acknowledged her with a slight smile and nod when she took her place. Blushing, she tried to forget the utter mess she had been days before and nodded back. Thankfully, the mage seemed to understand her need to be alone for the moment.

She could plainly see his curiosity was just as insatiable as Varric’s, though he hadn’t voiced it.

Sighing, Andi placed the ale she had been sipping back on the table. She felt a tiny buzz at the back of her skull from the alcohol and knew she’d have to be careful. She was either a chatty drunk or an amorous one and loose lips sunk ships.

“What does it matter, my name?” she asked as she gave Varric a weary look. From her former play through, she had grown to trust and rely on Varric in both combat as well as council. It would be difficult to lie to him.

Varric chuckled as he hailed a barmaid for his own drink, “I can’t keep calling you kid, seeing as I’m not that old,” he paused as the barmaid placed the flagon of ale in front of him, “ Besides, it seems a little degrading after you handed that pride demon its own ass on a platter.”

Andi tried not to chuckle, but a smile did crack the corner of her lips as she picked up her drink. Varric seemed a little relieved at that, his shoulders visibly dropping as Andi mulled over a good elven name. Guilt stabbed at her as she realized just how much tension she was giving off. Everyone would be looking at her from this point on, she had to be careful with what she was projecting.

“I’m from the clan Lavellan, and my name is…Grasal’in” Andi wasn’t sure where the word came from but something in her head was able to translate it to ‘redhead’.

Solas let out a laugh of what seemed to be delight from his seat and Andi felt her face flush. Apparently, she knew Elvish, which should’ve been a big ‘no duh’ at this point and Solas had been eavesdropping.

Varric cocked an eyebrow at Solas as he quickly contained himself, “Want to shed some light on what’s so funny, chuckles?”

“My name means ‘redhead’ in common tongue,” Andi mumbled instead as she brought her flagon back to her lips. Too late to go back now.

“Oh,” Varric replied, seeming to roll it around in his mind before he smiled, “how about we call you Lin for short then?”

“That means blood,” Solas added as he abandoned his reading to join the conversation. Apparently, he now felt more comfortable to speak since Varric broke whatever bubble of non-disturbance Andi had created for herself. It was interesting how much just knowing someone’s name made others more at ease.

“Fitting, seeing as how this all started,” Varric mused and Andi felt her stomach flip. She closed her eyes tightly, fighting back the images of those perishing.

“Lin is fine,” Andi muttered as she quickly finished the last of her drink, pushing back the urge to vomit as she quickly stood. Varric and Solas both seemed surprised, but she offered no explanation as she left a few coins on the table from a small pouch that had been left in her room for her from Josephine (she assumed) and headed out.

She vaguely heard Solas chastise Varric as she was leaving but she couldn’t be bothered to apologize or explain that it wasn’t the dwarf’s fault. He had no idea the inner turmoil she had been suppressing all day. Now in the cold evening air, she felt her breaths coming quick. This was a lot to handle within a day and being a little buzzed wasn’t helping. 

Stumbling slightly on the icy steps, she let her feet carry her through the refuge. She pushed past the gates, heading towards the frozen pond. There was the small encampment of tents for the soldiers to her right that she recognized but instead she veered left, walking the path that went by the blacksmiths’ set up. She wasn’t sure why she was going this way, but she just needed to be away from Varric, Solas, and everyone else for that matter.

She heard some exclamations behind her, but she ignored whoever was attempting to hail her and kept walking. Her pace quickly turned to a jog and then a full out run as she felt tears gather at the corners of her eyes. Breathing hard, she pushed herself until she was on the bridge she had crossed days ago. The gates that led to the breach were shut and she was fine with that. She just wanted to be alone.

Sitting rigid, back pressed against said gates, Andi gasped for air. Soon, those gasps turned to sobs. This was all too much, and she had no idea how she was going to get back home.

Be careful what you wish for, was all that she could think as she continued to cry big crocodile tears. She knew this would solve nothing, but she needed to let it out or she would burst. Sometimes it helped just to let it all out.

\--

 

Andi wasn’t sure how long she had been sitting there by the time her tears had dried, but she did realize she was getting cold since the sun had finished its setting. Now, a large moon hung in the air, the clear night making the temperature drop quickly. Standing, Andi groaned as her joints popped and she wiped her cheeks. She was exhausted and empty as she began to shuffle back to Haven.

She almost screamed when Cullen cleared his throat and stepped forward from where he was standing just out of sight. How long had he been waiting there?  
Andi felt the air crackle with unsubdued magic around her out of reflex and Cullen’s eyes narrowed. Andi would have to be more careful as she took a deep breath, the feeling dissipating as quickly as it had come on. Some part of her wanted to question why the magic side of her was so easy to control, but another part seemed reassured by it. At least something is going right.

“You startled me,” Andi offered quietly as Cullen did his best to reign in his own reaction, it seemed. He lowered his hand from where it had gone to his sword hilt and nodded silently.

“My apologies, when seeker Cassandra saw you heading this way she feared you were running from us,” Cullen replied as he observed Andi’s face with scrutiny. She knew he was searching for any signs of guilt. However, she hadn’t even thought of doing that, mostly because she was all too aware of the fact that it would most likely be the death of her.

“I don’t think that would do me any good,” Andi answered honestly as she folded her arms across her chest with a slight shiver and looked back towards Haven. They were both silent for a second before Cullen cleared his throat once again, regaining Andi’s gaze.

“What were you thinking, coming out here with no proper dressing?” Andi was surprised at the concern that colored Cullen’s tone as well as his features. Andi felt her cheeks warm as she looked down at her crossed arms with a shrug. She felt like a child being scolded. 

She heard the rush of fabric and felt the weight of a cloak being draped over her shoulders before she registered what was happening. Looking up, Cullen walked around the front of her and pulled his cloak closed, tying it with swift efficiency around her neck. He was definitely quicker than he let on.

“There, this will hopefully warm you enough until we are back to your chambers,” Cullen murmured quietly as he dropped his hands to his sides and turned to begin the short walk back.

“My chambers?” Andi echoed, slightly dumbfounded. What a suave maneuver…

Cullen glanced back, his cheeks tinting red. He nodded curtly as he offered his arm as well as a hasty explanation, “It’s late and we have much to address tomorrow, you’ll need your rest…” he paused, seeming to search for something to call her.

“Grasal’in, but you can call me Lin,” she finally responded as she took the crook of his elbow tentatively. She was going to have to get used to the name sooner or later so it might as well have been sooner.

\--

“Ow, Ow, Ow,” Lin repeated as she lowered herself into a hot bath that had been waiting for her within her room when she had arrived. Who had put it there, she had no idea; and though she was grateful, she was also acutely aware of every bruise and cut she had suffered from now.

Cullen had been quiet as they walked back to Haven, patiently pausing every time Lin had slipped on the well iced path. She was beginning to wonder how she hadn’t broken her neck on the way up in the first place after what felt like her hundredth time slipping when they finally arrived at the front gate.

“I trust you know your way from here?” Cullen asked, his gaze kind but distant as he stepped away from Lin. 

She nodded as she raised her hands to undo Cullen’s cape from her neck, but he reached out to stop her. 

“Please, keep it until Josephine can provide you with more proper attire for the snow,” Cullen murmured, a bashful smile playing at the corners of his mouth as he warm hands rested on hers. Lin felt her throat go a little dry. Cullen, like all the others, was not done justice on the TV screen. His dark blonde hair was tousled back by the slight breeze, the light brown of his eyes flecked with gold, and the stubble on his jaw giving him an irresistible rugged look. Unable to help herself, Lin leaned forward and planted a chaste kiss on the commander’s scruffy cheek.

“Ma serannas,” the words popped out of Lin’s mouth before she turned and hurried through the gates and up to her room. She didn’t want to see his reaction mostly because she knew she had over-stepped her bounds. She would have to apologize, but not tonight. Tonight was about trying to get the grime out of every nook and cranny as well as pin down a back story. If she was going to survive, she would have to start blending in quickly.

Her sleep was fitful, mostly because she knew what was to come in the next couple days. However, having nightmares did not help either.  
Stumbling into the tavern, Lin grunted a ‘good morning’ to Flissa as she took a seat at the bar, Cullen’s cape slung over her shoulder. She knew the commander had told her to hold onto it, but it felt selfish that he go without for her sake.

But it does smell nice, she thought wistfully as she laid it across her lap, smiling as Flissa provided her a bowl of what she could only assume was ram stew.

She was almost finished, having forgot how hungry she was with everything going on, when the stool beside her scarped back and Varric took his place beside her. She tried not to sigh because she knew he was just trying to figure her out and whether he could trust her. But damn, she was too tired to deal with this.

“Is that curly’s cape?” He asked slyly and Lin blushed. That was not the kind of question she was expecting.

“Uh,um…Yes,” Lin admitted with a soft chuckle, chewing her bottom lip.

“Very gallant of him,” Varric replied casually before ordering his own bowl of stew. Surprisingly, the dwarf said little else as they sat in silence. The silence didn’t feel forced, however, but refreshing. It allowed time for Lin to think about what to say.

“It’s cold,” She began, “colder than I was expecting.”

“Not used to the cold, I’m guessing?” Varric mused after a moment of consideration. He was still looking at his stew as he ate but Lin knew that insight into her upbringing would quell some of his worries about her.

“Not this kind of cold… it’s so dry, it makes the lungs ache. I’m used to the free marches, that’s where my clan roams,” Lin continued, drawing from what little she remembered. It seemed to satisfy, though as he beamed, turning his gaze to her.

“No kidding? I’m from Kirkwall, myself,” Varric grinned before finishing off the last of his stew.

“I heard it was a nice place,” Lin said before grimacing at her own stupidity. Of course, it was a nice place before the entirety of it was practically torn apart by the mage and Templar war.

“Varric, I’m so sor-,” she began to apologize but Varric raised a hand to stop her. With a sad smile and a sigh, he shrugged.

“It’s ok, we all can say things without thinking,” Lin knew he was referencing the previous night, so she just gave a small nod.

“My my, red is certainly your color,” Solas said quietly as he joined the pair on Lin’s unoccupied side. Lin knew the mage was referring to the cloak in her lap but that didn’t stop her from blushing and looking at her hands where they rested on the counter top. People were going to start to think she had a mild obsession with her cuticles if this kept up.

“Unfortunately, I’ve already got someone assigned to the nickname Red, so we’ll have to think of something else,” Varric replied, mercifully giving Lin an out.

“I believe Grasal’in is a perfect name,” Solas responded quietly causing Lin to give him a sideways glance. His eye contact was immediate and soul searching. Lin gave a faint smile, feeling the blood rush to her head. What and the hell has gotten into me? She thought as Solas smiled back, his amber eyes warm and inviting.

“O…k, chuckles,” Varric began, drawing Lin’s attention as he scooted away from them, “Let me just give you two some privacy.”

Lin scoffed, lightly smacking at the dwarf’s shoulder, “Dork.”

Varric smiled but there was a puzzled expression lying underneath. Lin gritted her teeth to keep smiling though she knew that was more than likely not a word in this universe. The dwarf was hopefully chalking it up to Elvish but when she looked away she could see Solas’s confusion from the corner of her eye.

“Well, if you excuse me, I supposedly have to meet with my…advisors, I guess,” Lin knew it was a hasty response that definitely made her look like she was running away, but it was all that she could think of that was true. Her presence had been requested at mid-morning by way of one of the servants, the one that had woken her the morning prior.

Since she dashed from the tavern much earlier than she was needed, though, she ran into Cullen before the angry mob of both mages and templars that had remained after the breach were to arrive. She had recalled this only due to the fact of how tumultuous it had been, as well as it being the first time she had met commander Cullen in game. 

Now, however, the templar was looking weary but resolute as he gave orders to a young man adorned in soldiers’ gear. He looked rather handsome in the weak morning light…then again, so had Solas. 

Shaking her head, Lin focused and put forth the most confident façade she could manage as she approached the commander and the young soldier fell back with a hasty salute.

“Ah, Herald, h-how are you this morning?” It was quite adorable how Cullen’s face flushed, and he shyly looked away. In doing so, he spotted his cloak, folded within Lin’s grasp.

“I am well, commander and please,” Lin began holding out said object, “do call me Lin, I already feel odd with everyone making such a fuss around me.” 

“Lin…I already told you I did not wish for this back-,” Cullen began but, strangely emboldened, Lin took a step closer than she dared with others and pressed the material to the man’s chest. Softly gasping, but not stepping away, Cullen met Lin’s gaze. 

Slowly, Lin bit her lip before looking down, “please, this is yours…not mine.”

It was probably a cheap move to get what she wanted, but she knew Cullen was strong willed and would not have it back any other way. 

“…Alright,” he muttered after several seconds. 

“And do allow me to apologize for the night prior, I’m an affectionate person and sometimes forget others aren’t so-,” It was the commanders turn to interrupt as he tilted her chin up to meet his eyes. Her mouth went dry as he looked down at her, a slight smile on his lips.

“Think nothing of it,” was all he said before dropping his hand and stepping back as people began to gather around the front of the Chantry. 

Oh, he’s good.


	4. Getting to know you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are much different than Lin could've guessed. Will she ever be able to get past her former life? What can she do to help? Will she make it out alive? Only time will tell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter summaries are hard. Thank you so much for the kudos and bookmarks so far! I hope I can do those who enjoy the story proud. We're finally starting to get...somewhere? Lin is beginning to distance herself for her own emotional well being. Call it well adjusted or call it a bad coping mechanism. Potato, tomato. Anyways, Hopefully I can post a little more regularly but college is a time consuming monster = )

Lin groaned as she dismounted one of the few horses the inquisition was able to scrounge up after they reached the point of contact in the Hinterlands. Her knees were weak from the little amount of use they had seen on the two-day ride. She had not been aware just how much time the game skipped over when it came to fast traveling, but she supposed it made sense. It wasn’t like things just instantly happened, especially in a time without texting, cars, or the internet. 

But, the journey gave her time to indulge in deeper conversation with her party members as well as the spare few soldiers that were sent as guard detail. She would listen, mostly, as Varric supplied the majority of the discussion topics, hedging away from anything deeply personal. Lin wasn’t sure if that was for her benefit or not, but she was pleased when the conversation turned to food.

“You know what I miss?” Varric started, shifting in his saddle, clearly uncomfortable with how wide his hips were set. Lin rode beside him, Cassandra heading up the front and Solas bringing up the rear while the rest of the soldiers walked along side them. 

“What?” Lin asked though she knew the dwarf needed no prompting.

“Cake…I don’t enjoy sweets that much, but when you can’t have something it makes it all the more wanted.”

Lin gave Varric a sideways glance before nodding and gazing ahead, “I would love a good steak, maybe pan seared in butter and herbs…with a side of roasted potatoes.”  
With the thought, her stomach growled impatiently and Varric laughed heartily.

“You have quite a refined palate, Josephine will be delighted.”

They spent much of the remaining ride discussing the different kinds of cake that they liked, which flavors were superior, and the advantage of cupcakes. Lin found that Varric had a fondness for chocolate above all the others. Solas had even made a noise of contentment at the mention of carrot cake. 

The conversation was so oddly normal that Lin felt something relax inside her. She had feared that any sort of insight would lead to more questions than she was prepared to make up answers for. It had quickly become apparent that these once fictional characters were not as unattainable as she made them out to be when she first played through. They had their own feelings and personalities that did not rely on an approval rating dynamic and they seemed as desperate as her for some normalcy. 

As the morning slid into afternoon with the conversation having changed to Lin’s love of garlic and how some recipes she had happened upon were always stingy when it came to its use, the group crossed into the Hinterlands. From then on, it was time for Lin’s game face. Or, whatever type of face she was making when Cassandra called attention to the camp ahead. 

Scout Harding had greeted them with enthusiasm, clearly relieved they were there. Lin hoped she could live up to the dwarf’s expectations.

Speaking quickly, Harding informed the party of what Lin already knew. There was fighting at the crossroads where Mother Giselle was taking care of the sick and wounded, a cult had formed in the mountains and there was fighting on the king’s roads. All major things that would take a bit to accomplish but Lin was ready, especially since she hadn’t used her magic since she sealed the breach. Part of her was giddy to test it out, another part was nervous. All of her was ready to get it over with, though. 

“Let’s do this,” Lin murmured as they began down the trail that would lead them to the crossroads.

\--

The Templars and Mages at the crossroads were a bit more difficult than the demons they faced when they sealed the breach. Lin had to remind herself that, though they were people, they would hurt more innocents if they were not felled then and there. As for the magic aspect of it, her body seemed to have a muscle memory of what to do. The power was imbued within her and the staff she had was the focus point. The simple carved wood allowed her to channel her magic at a specific target instead of firing wildly, which she had been afraid would happen.

“That’s the last of them,” Cassandra sighed heavily, leaning against a nearby tree. It was eerie to Lin how quiet it had gotten as soon as the metallic clang of swords and rush of spells dissipated from the area. Soon, however, the sound of the towns people and refugees began to fill the void as they emerged from their hiding places.

“Thank you, Cassandra,” Lin murmured to the warrior as she closed the distance. Her and Cassandra had spoken little on the ride to the crossroads. Lin wasn’t sure how to approach her though she knew so much about the Seeker. Since planning the trip to the Hinterlands at the war table, Cassandra had been distant, seeming off put by Lin. Lin wasn’t sure what had changed since they began the Inquisition, but now seemed as good of a time as any to bridge the gap it had created.

“Of course,” Cassandra replied matter of factly as she sheathed her blade. An awkward silence descended. Lin sighed, not sure what else to say.

“I, uh, really appreciate the fact that you’re so willing to…put yourself ahead of us,” Lin continued as Solas and Varric made themselves busy, helping the townspeople clear out the fallen. Cassandra glanced at them, clearly wishing the conversation would be done.

“Tis no trouble,” was all the warrior said as she turned to a nearby villager having trouble dragging one of the bodies. 

“You’re…really nice,” Lin finished lamely, Cassandra already out of earshot as she assisted the villager by lifting the corpses feet. 

“She’s tough to get through to,” Varric said from behind Lin, causing her to turn and glare down at the dwarf.

“Hey, don’t shoot the messenger,” The dwarf chuckled, holding up his hands in mock surrender. Lin sighed and rubbed her forehead, closing her eyes.

“I know…I just feel like an idiot.”

“Don’t.”

“Helpful,” Lin scoffed as she began walking towards the area where Mother Giselle resided. Varric followed as she set a slow pace. She knew the Mother had people to treat and it gave Lin time to assess the damage to herself and the surrounding area. Everyone who had emerged seemed to have the routine of clearing the area down pat which made her sad. 

People shouldn’t be used to war as if it’s their everyday routine. Lin thought as she watched a man right his battered wares table from the blood muddied road.

“You did very well,” Varric said as the pair stopped to allow a person in need of medical attention by before settling at the stairs that would lead to Mother Giselle. Lin didn’t need to ask to what he was referring.

“You think so?” Lin asked wearily as she took stock of anything that she could do. Nothing jumped out at her, though she did see Solas helping someone place a post back in its original standing. 

He was tall, for an elf. Lin had noticed it when he stood next to seeker Cassandra that he had almost two inches on her. She, herself, was not used to being as tall as she was, coming from relatively short stature in her real life. Remembrance that this wasn’t her reality was a cold bucket of water that made her shudder. She had to remind herself that she was no longer Andi in this world and the sooner she embraced that, the easier of a time she would have.

Masking her sudden panic attack, she smiled weakly and waved when Solas caught her staring. He waved back before walking to join them.

“Yes, you’re getting much better at not flinching when someone dies,” The dwarf continued so casually that Lin almost missed what he was getting at. She took a second to breathe deeply before responding to the dwarf.

“I…I’ve only ever hunted animals and even then it was for food, not sport,” Lin replied, seeing no use in denying it. Varric nodded in understanding as Solas made it to the pair, a small look of content on the mage’s face.

“It’ll get easier, but it will never be easy,” Varric finished quietly before venturing off to find Cassandra who appeared to be speaking to one of the soldiers who was in charge of the area.

“Don’t you looked pleased,” Lin said to Solas as she turned her attention to him, shaking off what tumultuous feelings that tried to linger in the back of her mind.   
She had become better at conversing with the Mage over the past couple days. Yes, his looks were still distracting but she had found the more she had to deal with, the less she cared about trivial matters such as just how cute the mage look when he smiled. Besides, she was getting tired of the coy routine, that was how plain, old Andi would have behaved. Too afraid to embrace her feelings or flirt, wondering what others would think. Here…she had no one to disappoint.

“A man thanked me for helping him,” was all Solas said but Lin understood why it was such a big deal. Even though she was named Herald of Andraste, she had been met with prejudice for being a “knife ear”. Quartermaster Threnn had even mistaken her for a servant in the beginning, though the woman was quick to correct herself. Still, it was a feeling Lin was unused to.

“Ah yes, your prowess at resetting a post is something all should behold,” Lin mused, glancing sideways at the elf. He flushed, clearly picking up on her teasing tone.

“It is just pleasant to not be met- “

“With hostility, I know Solas, it was a poor attempt at humor on my part,” she apologized, laying a hand on his shoulder. The mage sighed but did not move away from her. Instead, he laid a hand upon her own. His skin was cool against hers and she tried not to sigh with pleasure. It was a simple gesture of kinship and nothing more, she told herself. She was always affectionate with her friends. 

Her heart thumped painfully as she recalled her best friend, Julie. She was the last person Lin had hugged since being plunged into this world. Dropping her hand back to her side, she could see Solas frown from the corner of her eye. He must’ve thought the sudden mood shift was his fault.

“Grasal’in-,” he began but they were interrupted by one of the healers calling for her attention.

“Mother Giselle is available to speak to you now,” the healer (a dirty blonde middle-aged woman) said. Lin could’ve kissed her as she gave Solas a quick ‘I’ll be back shortly’ before darting up the small set of stairs.

\--

Lin had kept herself subdued from that point on. She allowed her party members to carry the conversation, only commenting when asked where to go next. So far, they had assisted the hunter with collecting ram’s meat, cleared out the king’s road, spoke to horse master Dennet, made plans to erect the watch towers and a myriad of other quests that would establish a foothold in the area for the Inquisition. Cassandra had expressed that they would have enough influence to travel to Val Royeaux, but every time Lin considered it, she would get sidetracked by a quest she was aware of that was in the immediate area. Three days had already come to pass in the Hinterlands, the party working from dawn till dusk.

“Herald,” Cassandra said, her tone firm as she came to stand in front of Lin where she sat at the fire. They had made camp for the night, closing out the third day and Lin’s head was foggy. She was exhausted and wanting nothing more to crawl into her tent and lay out on her bed roll. Food was a necessary evil, though.

“Yes?” Lin replied tiredly, setting down her now empty bowl, and thought she saw a brief flicker of pity cross the Seeker’s face before it was replaced by a steely eyed resolve.

“We must head back. Now.” Cassandra’s tone left no room for debate, but Lin balked none the less, feeling her eyes narrow. The Seeker had thrust Lin into this roll of Herald, the one to make decisions that could end the Inquisition at any moment. Now that those decisions didn’t suit Cassandra’s wants, she decides those they were helping were no longer important?

“There are still those who need our assistance here, Seeker,” Lin tried to keep her tone even, but her anger at the Seeker’s lack of empathy bled through quickly. Standing, Lin was nose to nose with Cassandra.

“These tasks can all be delegated, Herald,” Cassandra was becoming equally as heated. Her brown eyes hardened at Lin’s sudden display of rebellion, baring her teeth somewhat.

“Excuse me, Seeker, but perhaps the Herald feels personally responsible for those she gave her word to,” Solas voice snapped through whatever stare off her and Cassandra were having as both women turned to look at the Mage as he approached, hands up in front of his chest as if signaling surrender. He placed a hand on Lin’s shoulder once he was within distance to. This gesture had become a familiar one since the meeting Mother Giselle and Lin felt a calm wash through her as Solas maintained her gaze.

“And perhaps, Herald, Seeker Cassandra is wanting to find a much larger presence that can assist the Inquisition as soon as possible,” Solas’s tone implored peace and Lin had to take a deep breath before she could look back to Cassandra. The warrior had an air of begrudging understanding as Lin muttered an apology.

“I had not considered your point of view, Herald,” Cassandra offered, and Lin shrugged in response.

“Neither had I, Seeker, we will leave first thing in the morning. I will inform Scout Harding of the remaining tasks by raven,” Lin was curt in her explanation before promptly turning towards her tent. Practically diving inside, she secured the flaps to the opening of the tent behind her and laid face first on her bedroll. 

She had always been prone to only seeing what was in front of her and it was costing them. She knew she had screwed up and embarrassment quickly flooded in as the anger faded. This whole time they could’ve had an extended reach, more soldiers and healers, more supplies... But this whole situation was much harder than it had been in the game. She was terrified of making the wrong choice when it came to allying with either the Mages or the Templars. Hell, she had no idea how allying with the Templars would even go, nor how her advisors or party members would react. Would they even listen to her explain why she made her choice?

Just as her mind was beginning to race she heard a voice outside her tent.

“Grasal’in?” Solas asked softly, as if he was unsure if she was even in there. Quickly, she rolled onto her back and up to her knees to open her tent. The sun had finally finished it’s setting, and she could just make out the outline of him. The Mage in question was dressed down slightly, preparing for his own nights rest but his jawbone necklace still lay in its usual resting spot.

“How can I help you, Solas?” She asked just as quietly. The camp had settled considerably from just a few moments ago, the fire having been extinguished and the soldiers that were to be night watch already at their posts. Lin hadn’t realized just how much thought went into where they were to stay for the night until experiencing it. If they didn’t make it to an established camp for the night, that meant finding a less suitable place to bed down, like a cave or abandoned house…or a tree, in Varric’s case once.

“I hope I am not interfering,” he began and Lin sighed, holding up a hand to interrupt him.

“You’re not, but if you wish to talk, come inside… It’s getting cold out,” Lin replied before scooting back into the tent. It was large enough to accommodate two bedrolls comfortably, however, the others seemed weary of intruding on her space since the cross roads. 

As Solas swiftly ducked inside and took his place opposite her, Lin lit a candle and placed it near the head of her bedroll. The sudden illumination made both of them squint until their eyes adjusted. 

“What were you needing, Solas?” Lin asked after a few moments of silence. She had taken up the positions of sitting with her knees pulled to her chest, arms wrapped around her calves as he sat cross legged across from her. She almost felt some humor bubbling up as the candle light shone off his bald head, but the feeling was squashed when he spoke.

“Grasal’in… You look heart broken.”

Lin felt her throat tighten as a wave of emotion flooded her. Anger, despair and an assortment of other emotions that had been held back slammed against the dam she had created in her mind and she could feel her eyes grow misty. 

“I… am, Solas,” she answered with some difficulty even after a controlled breath, “I am alone, my friends and family are miles away, and I have no idea when…IF I’ll ever see them again.” 

The sudden and earnest admission seemed to surprise Solas before his features fell into a look of empathy. Lin bit her bottom lip and looked away for a brief moment. Now was not the time to be noticing how attractive the Mage was.

“I had not thought of that…” he trailed off, searching for words she was aware he would not find. She knew he had experienced loss and despair hundreds of times throughout his dream walking, but they had yet to speak of these moments in their time together.

“Tell me of yourself, Solas,” Lin whispered after a deafening silence had descended. The Mage looked at her, mirroring her previous expression by chewing his bottom lip before nodding.

“What would you like to know?”


	5. Queued too early

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grasal'in is just wanting to get along and go along, but why is Seeker Cassandra being so reluctant to befriend her? She's tired, she's nervous, she's getting to the bottom of it before they have to face the Chantry in Val Royeaux. What was the saying? "United they stand, divided they fall."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a disgrace for taking so long to update! I know, I know, it's very dialogue heavy but I swear this is going somewhere. Character intros are hard to get just right. Also, Krem's a little early! but why? Things aren't moving as slowly as Lin thinks they are.
> 
> Elvish  
> Erathe = sleep

The weak morning light roused a very reluctant Lin from a dreamless sleep. Groaning, she attempted to roll onto her stomach but was met by the warmth of another. Eyes snapping open, she took in the sight of a sleeping Solas.

Right…

Solas had told her stories of his life, focusing mostly on his dream walking. He spoke of a spirit that watched over the flock of a young herded as he slept; a barbarian who held a soft spot for his wife and daughter that war could not jade; a town that celebrated it’s deceased every Harvestmere. As he continued through the night and into the wee hours of the morning, they both ended up on her bedroll while the candle burned low. 

The Mage lay on his back, one hand cradling his head, the other on his stomach as he spoke. Lin rested on her side, forehead pressed to his shoulder as she fought sleep. 

“Lin?” Solas murmured after few seconds of silence. Lin briefly roused, humming to show she was listening though she knew she had begun to drift.  
Solas chuckled softly as she felt his knuckles brush against her cheek. She sighed in pleasure as she slipped her arm around his waist, the heat of his body radiating through the layers of his clothes. She could hear his sharp intake of breath and her eyes fluttered open as she pulled back to look at him through half lidded eyes. 

Their faces were much closer than she had anticipated as they looked at each other. Lin could see every emotion, his lips parted slightly as his eyes locked with hers before darting down to her mouth. After a few seconds, he leaned in slowly. Breath catching, Lin let her eyes slip closed as she waited…   
She would’ve cried in disappointment as he kissed her forehead chastely, had she not been so damn tired.

“Erathe, Grasal’in,” Solas murmured against her skin as she all too willingly complied.

Now, she watched the Mage as he continued to sleep peacefully. With a soft sigh, she lithely climbed over his inert form and slipped out of the tent.   
The night watch was shifting with the regular watch as the rest of the camp began to rouse with the sun as well. Varric was already up, lounging by the fire as he drank from a metal cup resembling a coffee mug.

“Madam Herald,” The Archer greeted her with a mischievous grin as she took a seat near him, rubbing her neck.

“What’s that look for?” she asked after stretching so hard she almost lost her breath and ignoring the title while she looked for anything to eat in a bag of rations that had sat nearby. That was another thing she learned to do now that she was stuck in what was rapidly becoming her new reality; always know where to find food.

“I noticed that Chuckles never returned to his own accommodations last night after he went to check on you,” Varric said casually as he swirled whatever was in his cup around. Not making eye contact, Grasal’in continued to dig around in the bag.

“I wonder if he got lost on the way there,” the Dwarf continued as Grasal’in found some sort of jerky. Taking a large bite of the meat, she set the bag down and then stared at Varric. They continued to gaze unblinking at each other as Lin chewed until Varric’s eyes narrowed.

“You didn’t do anything, did you,” There was no questioning tone and Lin couldn’t help but laugh at his disappointed expression after swallowing the ungodly dry jerky.

“Sorry, but you’ll have no rumors to spread when we get back to Haven,” Lin said with false sympathy as she grinned.

“I would never do such a thing! It’s just good to have my story straight when I write about the tale of the famous Herald of Andraste…Besides, rumors don’t have to be true to be good,” he said with a wink before downing the rest of what was in his cup. 

“What a boring subject to write about,” Lin teased lightly, choosing to ignore the last bit as she finished her jerky. She felt oddly jovially though she was running off minimal sleep. Having been able to indulge her sorrows seemed to unburden her. Not completely, but enough to make a difference.

“Indeed… Ah, morning Chuckles,” Varric smiled as Lin flushed and glanced behind her. She observed the Elf as he walked towards the pair, a hard to read look on his face. Lin tried not to think too much about it as she quickly turned back to the fire. She kept her attention anywhere but on the two men, trying to stay the blush creeping up her neck. All they had done was sleep in the same bed, nothing ground breaking about that.

“Varric,” Solas replied casually before turning his gaze to Lin. She could feel his eyes on her and when she met them (somewhat reluctantly), she was still trying to calm the sudden flutter in her stomach.

“Grasal’in,” he all but purred.

“Good morning, Solas,” she hated how breathless she sounded as she clutched at the leather on her leggings. They maintained eye contact for a few seconds like her and Varric had done, except the gesture felt entirely different. She felt like he was looking right through her and down into her most intimate self. It felt embarrassing and exhilarating at the same time.

“Ah, Seeker! Good morning!” Varric hailed the Nevarran as she herself approached the group, already clad in her usual armor set. Lin immediately looked to her, somewhat thankful for the interruption. If she stared at Solas any longer she would’ve begun to giggle like a nervous school girl, and she was too old for that…right?

“Good morning,” Cassandra replied dryly as she finished righting her chest plate and set her sights on Lin.

“Are we ready to depart?” the Seeker asked, forgoing all formalities and Lin sighed, standing with some effort. Sleeping on the ground wasn’t forgiving, even with the use of the bedroll.

“Just allow me a moment to write the letter to Scout Harding then we can go.”

\--

The ride back to Haven was much the same as the ride to the Hinterlands, with Varric supplying a majority of the conversation. However, unlike last time, he asked much more personal questions. Nothing too devastating, but it felt less like friendly banter and more like a round of questions Julie had playfully referred to as “the awkward first date 20 questions game”. Not very creative, but it definitely described it well.

After Lin finished naming her favorite colors, Varric asked what season she preferred and if she had any leisure activities she would participate in before the Inquisition swallowed up all her free time. Lin had answered as truthfully as possible, fudging a bit on the last question, not knowing how to relate playing video games and surfing Tumblr to the world she was in. Then, Varric asked something that made her almost want to die of embarrassment.

“So, any dashing elven man waiting for you in your clan?”

Lin stared at the Dwarf, trying desperately to keep her eyes from snapping back to Solas who was riding behind the pair once again.

“I’m sorry, what?” Lin knew her voice had pitched weird as she asked for clarification, hoping to the gods he would read the tone and know better. But it was Varric, he loved stirring the pot and she knew the writer would not drop the subject easily.

“I find it hard to believe that you haven’t left any suitors waiting on bated breath for your return,” Varric continued, knowing she was playing ignorant, “Anyone’s resolve would be crushed by those doe eyes of yours, isn’t that right, Chuckles?”

Lin wanted to grab Bianca from her holster and shoot the Dwarf right in the knee, just to shut him up.

“Master Tethras, the Herald is more than her looks,” the Elf replied, his tone firmly stating that he would not engage in the conversation. Lin didn’t know whether to be grateful or offended at how well the Elf dodged showing his hand.

“Of course, she is, but nothing sells better than romance…at least, in some regards,” Varric sighed and Lin tried not to grin. She knew the Dwarf was referring to his romance serial “Swords and Shields” and Lin couldn’t wait to get her hands on a copy of it.

“What about you, Varric?” Lin asked as they rode on for a few moments in silence, “What unlucky ladies have you left wanting for your attentions?”

The Dwarf blushed almost unperceivably before brushing the question off with a cheeky grin.

“Oh, you know, there are almost too many to count,” The vague answer was the last comment from the Dwarf for the rest of the ride that night. Luckily, they were making better time when it was just them, no soldier detail to keep pace with. The journey that had taken over two days ending within a little under one. The had camped briefly but only for a couple hours, not bothering to really lay out supplies since the weather had remained forgiving and it would take more time to set everything up. 

The time must’ve been close to dawn when they arrived at Haven, the pre-light barely illuminating the small refuge as they all dismounted, allowing the stable hands to take over. Lin gently patted her own mounts muzzle in silent thanks before wearily trudging to the front gates, Cassandra just ahead. Solas and Varric took their time, hanging back to discuss something out of ear shot. 

Lin was barely surprised when Leliana met them at the gate, already dressed in her typical attire. The Spymaster’s expression gave no indication of how she was feeling and suddenly Lin felt nervous. The women had not spoken much outside of the War Table, mostly due to Lin’s terror of her façade being seen through. Lin was aware that by doing this she wasn’t putting herself in the best position, but it was all in the name of self-preservation. Surely, the Nightingale would understand that.

“Good morning,” Leliana greeted, “you made good time, I just received a raven from Scout Harding.”

“We aim to please,” Lin replied tiredly as she rolled her shoulders, very suddenly feeling the weight of her exhaustion. The feeling was akin to arriving home after a long day’s work. 

But she wasn’t home. This area was temporary, and she knew it. 

“Rouse Commander Cullen and Lady Josephine,” Cassandra stated as she began towards the War Table room, pulling Lin from her dreary realization, “We will discuss the details of what need be done for our journey to Val Royeaux.”

Leliana did not follow immediately, glancing at Lin with a puzzled expression. Lin shrugged, not exactly sure why Cassandra was so determined to be run down to the bone. They still had not spoken and Lin was becoming further and further unsettled by that. She remembered Cassandra being more cordial in the game. Perhaps she was just exhausted as Lin was but felt like she couldn’t stop, or she’d be letting the Inquisition down?

“Cassandra,” Lin called, deciding there was no time like the present to get to the bottom of it.

The Seeker paused, throwing an irritated look back at Lin as she jogged to catch up. Lin didn’t let this deter her, though, stopping only when she stood in front of the Seeker, blocking her ability to forge ahead.

“What is troubling you?” Lin came out with it, not bothering to soften her tone. The tension exuding from Cassandra was palpable, her stance was one that Lin had seen many times in battle; defensive and ready to fight.

“You ask what is troubling me while a large hole looms above our heads, threatening the entirety of Thedas?” Lin could tell the question was rhetorical, but she nodded anyways, hoping her posture didn’t convey aggression. 

This simple question seemed to unlock every feeling of pent up anger had as Cassandra practically yelled her answer at Lin. 

“I am troubled by the fact that we have been landed in the middle of a hellish problem that the Maker could not be cruel enough to bestow upon us with an ignorant woman who seems to care less about the larger picture of things and becomes flustered with the slightest change! I cannot begin to understand what sort of sins we have committed in order to receive this punishment, and yet here we are, and I am forced to guide a child through a situation that even I am unaware of how to process!” Lin, being unaccustomed to such unbridled rage, would’ve burst out in tears if it were anyone else throwing such callous words at her. But with Cassandra, she felt a sort of kinship in realizing she was just as out of her element as Lin was.

A silence fell as Cassandra attempted to regain control of her emotions, breathing in through her nose and out through her mouth. Lin was aware Leliana, Solas, Varric and a handful of others close by were staring, waiting for the first punch to be thrown, but she paid no mind to that as she reached out a hand and placed it on the Seeker’s shoulder. It was a bold move and Cassandra could’ve easily broken the Mage’s arm. 

Instead, the Seeker took an even larger breath and held it for a moment before exhaling and meeting Lin’s gaze.

“Thank you, you don’t know how much that helps me,” Lin finally replied as she removed her hand and turned back to the path that led to the War Room. Lin didn’t feel like there was any reason to pick apart the statement anymore as everyone slowly went back to their business. It surprised even her how well she had handled the situation.

“Herald…” Cassandra eventually called out just as Lin reached the doors to the Chantry, pushing them open. Lin paused but didn’t turn until Cassandra was actually within range.

“…Does it bother you? The mark?” This question Lin was familiar with, though it might’ve been out of place. It was a good sign, though.

“Not so much, anymore,” the Mage replied as they began to walk through the quiet hall.

\--

The plans to travel to Val Royeaux were in place and they would leave within a day’s time. This gave them the opportunity to restock and for the horses to rest. This also gave Lin an opportunity to speak to her council members more. One in particular.

“Commander Cullen,” Lin greeted the man in question as he watched over his troops as they fought. He had just spoken to one of his officers, telling him not to allow them to hold back on each other. There were no practice fights when it came to war.

“Good morning,” Cullen replied as he turned his attentions towards Lin. He was looking a little livelier than just a short time ago when they were discussing guard detail to Val Royeaux. Lin already knew that she, Cassandra, Varric and Solas would be traveling alone, but she let the council bicker amongst themselves before agreeing the less involved, the better. 

Lin, having already exhausted all dialogue options with the commander when she played through (just as she had done with Solas and Iron Bull… and Varric, Blackwall, everyone really), now took the time to learn new things, the things she could only speculate at as an individual player. She would have to ease into it though.

“How have your past few days been?” 

Simple enough, casual, way to go Andi…Lin, she thought as she broke eye contact to gaze at the surrounding area. 

It was a beautiful valley, the sun spilled over the peaks of the Frostbacks and the cold air carried the scent of the trees. The snow reflected the light brilliantly and gave the entire area a shiny, pristine look that she hadn’t taken the time to admire since ending up in the world. It was a shame that it wouldn’t last too much longer. Lin tried not to think of that, though, turning her focus back to the conversation she had initiated.

“Oh…um, they have been well,” Cullen seemed surprised, causing Lin to quirk an eyebrow as she looked back to him.

“Forgive me, I am… Unused to such casual conversation as of late.”

“I could ask you to recite the chant of light, if you’d like,” Lin offered with a grin.

“Maker, that would take a bit of time,” he chuckled.

“I don’t mind, I enjoy your voice. It’s very warm…inviting,” she mused aloud and could see a blush creep up his cheeks as he smiled bashfully, rubbing the back of his neck. Lin knew this was a habit he was prone to when he was feeling at a loss or nervous.

“I, uh, thank you, Herald,” he replied softly as he turned his gaze to an approaching messenger.

“Commander, a letter for you.”

“I’ll leave you be, Cullen, and remember,” Lin began to say as she turned to leave, gently bumped the commander’s shoulder with her own, “call me Lin.”

The last part was a little sultrier in tone before she turned to saunter away, hips swaying. She could feel his eyes on her the entire trek to the main gate. Glancing back she could see the heated look on his face as his eyes snapped up from her backside, his cheeks coloring. She couldn’t help but smirk and give a small wave before going to find Varric.

\--

Varric and her sat at the hearth of the tavern in Haven, both with a flagon in their grasps. They were keeping a compatible silence, both seeming to need some   
peace before the trip to come. Lin was getting nervous now that she had nothing to occupy her. She knew what was to come, what decisions had to be made, and her stomach began to knot.

“You’re looking a little green there,” Varric remarked suddenly, nudging Lin’s foot with his own. Glancing over, she let out a heavy breath she hadn’t realized she was holding.

“I just hope I make the right decisions, I don’t want to let anyone down,” she tried to keep her voice steady as she gazed into the fire of the hearth. It crackled happily, oblivious to the world outside of it. The feeling of being jealous of an inanimate object was a strange one but it amused Lin for at least a moment before Varric began to speak.

“You’ll let people down, Lin, that’s just a circumstance of life,” The Dwarf was so matter-of-fact, one could assume he was being cruel. Not Lin, though. She understood that Varric was someone she could truly rely on for council because he would never sugar coat things. Sure, he was hiding the whereabouts of Lady Hawke, but Lin had been in agreeance with the Dwarf’s judgement on that one. Hawke could no more prevent what was to happen than any one of the survivors of the Conclave.

“That seems like a cop-out,” Lin replied as she swirled her barely touched ale around. She could see Varric’s confused glance at the idiom, but Lin felt no need to back track or explain, hoping the Dwarf would just chalk it up to different regional dialects. 

Thankfully, he didn’t press and simply shrugged, leaning back in his chair with a sigh, “I wonder if Lady Josephine can get us chairs that don’t leave your ass sore… or maybe that’s from all the riding we’ve done.”

“Perhaps we should get you a travel cushion,” Lin suggested with a tired smile, finally managing to sip some of her ale.

“Or a smaller horse, my legs aren’t meant to open that wide,” he scoffed, seeming pleased with himself. 

Lin was beginning to notice how much Varric enjoyed making others happy and lightening the situations at hand. She supposed it was only fitting, the things the Dwarf had endured before the Conclave were nothing short of hellish. Most would crumble under the weight of grief. 

As she was contemplating how people were shaped by what they endured, the tavern door opened, letting in a blustery gust of wind. Lin shuddered and cast her gaze to those who dared remind her of the chill outside and had to keep her face neutral of the sudden confusion that washed through her.

Cremisius Aclassi had a very confident walk, a determined stare, he was a force to be reckoned with... And far too early to be arriving at Haven.

“You ok, kid? You look like you’ve seen a ghost?”


	6. Demonic Desires

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lin has no time to waste, nor does she have the man power to sacrifice. Will quick decisions be her down fall? and how long can she possibly keep up this charade that she belongs? Gods willing she make it through Haven in one piece.

“I-I thought I saw someone I recognized,” Lin managed to reply to Varric, quickly looking back to the fire. 

Again, something was occurring much too early then it had in game. What about meeting Sera and Lady Vivienne? Did this mean she had missed the opportunity to recruit them? Or had Krem always been here before they departed for Val Royeaux? Her head began to ache as her mind raced with questions. 

“Could you get me your darkest ale?” Lin heard Krem request of Flissa while Varric eyed her. Ignoring the Dwarf, Lin continued to eaves drop.

Something she had realized through her days in this world was that, as an Elf, she could hear much better than she used to. Her ears could also…shift. The movement was not as dramatic as a hound, but it was enough to cause her surprise the first time it happened. Like adjusting the sideview mirrors on a car (but not as dramatic) she could position them as necessary.

“Are you looking to join the Inquisition?” Flissa asked while she poured a generous serving for Krem. 

“In a way, I am looking to speak to someone about a possible employment opportunity,” Krem replied casually enough but Lin could tell his tone was somewhat guarded. Years of being around Iron Bull had taught the Tevinter well.

“Good luck with that,” Flissa offered sincerely but she had a sympathetic look on her face as she turned to serve another patron. Krem watched her, perplexed. Lin supposed it made sense though, the Vint had had a hard time getting anyone to speak to him by the time the Herald was meant to meet him. But again…things were different.

“Hello?” Varric questioned, waving a hand in Lin’s periphery, snapping her attention back to him.

“What are you listening for?” he asked as he tapped his own ear and glanced at hers. She should’ve known he’d see the movement; he was once a spymaster after all.

“Ah…Um, I think I need to speak with the young man who just came in,” Lin answered, standing and placing her ale on the small, usually forgotten, end table that sat between her and Varric’s seats. The dwarf sighed, taking said flagon as his own and waving her on. He seemed to be catching on that it was best to not ask Lin questions when she was on a mission.

Krem had remained at the bar, drinking his ale at a pace that would probably rival Iron Bulls. He meant business.

“Excuse me, but I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation with our lovely tavern keeper here,” Lin began, causing Krem to eye her wearily, setting down his drink. The mug was already drained.

The mistrust in his gaze might’ve bothered Lin had she not remind herself they had not met yet…and she was internally unsettled by how out of sync the story was becoming.

“We are looking to be employed by the Inquisition, not nobles with competing agendas,” The Vint replied curtly as his eyes flicked to Varric. Lin glanced back to the Dwarf who was now unabashedly watching them converse.

“Oh, haha, no…No, sorry,” Lin held up her hands and placed them on the bar in an exasperated expression, “Let me start over, I’m Grasal’in Lavellan-“

“Ah, the Herald of Andraste, my apologies,” Krem quickly adjusted his stance to that of a more formal one. Lin tried not to grimace, but she was getting annoyed at all the pomp and circumstance.

“Please, for the love of the gods, just call me Lin,” she sighed, almost to herself, while she sat down on a bar stool and gestured he do the same.

“Not one for titles, then?” Krem grinned, mirroring her movement but leaving one elbow to casually rest on the bar as he faced her.

“I am not like-,” Lin had to stop herself before she mentioned Iron Bull, Krem hadn’t even gotten to that part yet,”…Other people, I want people to see me as someone they can relate to.”

“I suppose that can have it’s advantages…as well as it’s disadvantages,” Krem shrugged, ignoring the temporary hiccup from Lin. The Elf nodded tiredly before squaring up her shoulders and placing her hands in her lap. She needed to look professional.

“So, to business, what are you looking to offer the Inquisition in terms of employment?” Lin was already fit to accept the Chargers offer but she supposed it would seem odd seeing as Krem had yet to say a word about them.

“My name is Cremisius Aclassi and I come here through orders of the Chief, or The Iron Bull as you might have heard of him,” Krem replied, meeting her gaze. He didn’t seem uncomfortable with prolonged eye-contact, seeming to have nothing to hide. Lin on the other hand had to break and glance back at Varric who was still watching but had now managed to find a foot stool to prop his feet up on. His chair was also facing a little more towards them so he wouldn’t have to crane his neck as much. Lin wanted to roll her eyes but stayed the urge and cocked an eyebrow instead.

Varric raised his eyebrows in return and offered a shrug. If the Dwarf didn’t have Elf hearing, he certainly had the eyes of a hawk.

“I might have,” Lin replied casually as she turned back to Krem. He seemed only slightly surprised.

“Indeed…Well, we have found out about a shipment coming to the Venatori by way of the Storm Coast and the Chief wanted to invite you, show you what the Chargers can do for the Inquisition,” Lin could tell Krem had rehearsed this “sales pitch” only a little but he had no idea how sold she already was.

“Listen Cremisius,” Lin began, going to stand, “Where we stand now, we do not have enough man power to establish a forward camp in the Storm Coast.”

Krem began to open his mouth, most likely to provide compromise, but Lin held up a hand in protest.

“That is why I am forgoing the expedition and hiring you…Send word to your Chief and I will meet with him upon return from my journey to Val Royeaux,” Lin finished, folding her hands behind her back and maintaining eye-contact the entire time. This was something she was -very- confident about, herself.

Krem stared, searching for some type of guise to break. When he saw none, he nodded slowly and stood, laying a couple coins on the bar to pay for his drink.

“Right away…Lin.”

With that, the Tevinter turned on his heel and exited the tavern. Lin let out a heavy breath and turned back to Varric who now had an incredulous look on his face.

“What did you tell him? I can only get so much from a one-sided conversation,” The dwarf questioned quietly as Lin took her usual seat next to him. She allowed him to readjust his chair’s orientation before taking back her flagon and hailing for another drink.

“Better stock up the casks, Flissa, The Chargers are joining the Inquisition.”

\--

“You hired a band of mercenaries without a second thought?” Cassandra did not hide incredulity as Lin adjusted the saddle of her mount. The mare whickered and Lin gave her neck, covered by a chestnut mane, a pat. They were set to depart from Haven to Val Royeaux, standing in front of the main gate while they waited for Solas to arrive.

“You and I both know that our Spymaster wouldn’t allow anyone who was set against us to just up and join, besides,” Lin glanced at Cassandra with a knowing look, “we need people.”

“But mercenaries?” The Nevarran pressed as Lin double checked her rations and that her staff was secured in its holder. Lin had to force herself not to huff in agitation. Cassandra did not know what Lin knew and she had to remind herself of that. This thought also reminded her that she would need to think of some way to evacuate Haven without seeming too suspicious. 

“Hey, mercenaries aren’t all bad,” Varric offered while he strolled by to his mount, a cushion tucked under his arm. Lin chuckled, shaking her head but that seemed enough to quiet the Seeker while she sighed and turned to her own mount.

“What are we waiting on?” Varric asked, slightly out of breath having somehow managed to climb onto his horse and settle onto the cushion with little fuss.

“Solas,” Lin replied, hooking her foot into the stirrup of the saddle and swinging herself up. Or attempting to.

“Fuck!” she yelped as she dropped back. Normally it would’ve been an easy correction, but she lost her grip on the saddle in the process and was set to fall straight back on her ass. Instead, she was caught under the arms by strong hands.

“Lady Herald, we must meet this way more often,” Solas murmured, his breath tickling the shell of her ear as she rested heavily into the Elf. Lin could -almost- feel the heat of his body through her own coat and the soft brush of his lips as she lingered momentarily. What she -definitely- felt was a bolt of arousal shoot through her as she realized her ass was practically flush with his crotch and there was an unmistakable bulge.

“O-oh, I suppose so,” Lin managed while she regained her ground and, reluctantly, pulled away from Solas. He smiled impishly as he started towards his mount, leaving Lin wondering what had gotten into him. 

Since they had arrived back from the Hinterlands the day before, the Mage had slipped away and remained scarce until well into the evening. She had seen him for a moment when she was leaving the Tavern. All they had done was nod at one another, though.

“Alright, let’s get on with it,” Lin finally managed after she successfully sat herself upon her saddle, ignoring the ache deep in her core.

\--

They managed the trip to Val Royeaux in about half a day, running the horses at a gallop for as long as they could handle. Lin wasn’t happy about it, worrying about causing the mounts pain, but it was a necessary evil. The Chantry wouldn’t wait for them.

The group made camp for the evening just outside the massive city after night had fallen, but Lin was too anxious to really rest. Instead, she laid on her back near the fire they’d built, listening to the river they were positioned by. The night was temperate, and Lin had a suspicion that she had been dropped into the game in the beginnings of summer. She was the only one staying awake though, the others having dismissed themselves to their own tents.

As the fire light died, the stars began to reveal themselves in mass. Lin was awe struck by the sight before her. She could see so many of the constellations that she had traced through the Astrariums that were discovered during her first play through. A sudden, overwhelming sense of smallness enveloped her. Tears sprang to her eyes as she wondered if she would ever get to see the constellations of her own world’s sky again. 

Trying to subdue the feeling was futile. Chest constricting, Lin held in a sob as she pinched her eyes closed. The tears rolled down from her eyes and into her hairline, thanks to the position she was in. She hardly cared though while she brought her hands to her face, hiding from the stars. What the hell was she going to do? She couldn’t keep living in this reality as though she belonged, especially with all the things she knew. She missed the simple things she had taken for granted: running water, her computer, her friends and family.

“Oh god,” she half gasped, half sobbed as she rolled onto her side away from the fire that was now just embers. Would she ever see her mom and dad again? What about her brothers? They hadn’t talked in so long but now she wanted nothing more than to hear from any one of them.

She ended up crying herself into a fitful sleep, one where her dreams were of home. Not of her little studio apartment, but her family home. 

Standing in the foyer, she took in the Great room. The walls were painted a warm beige with a dark brown accent wall. The ceiling was high, and the windows were tall, letting the natural light flood in. The smell of sage filled the air and Lin hesitantly stepped further in, feeling the laminated wood floor against her bare feet. The room was empty of furniture and she recalled this day very well. This was the last day she was ever in the house, the day her parents finally sold it. Even in her dreams she could not hide from her sadness.

“What a strange structure,” a voice mused behind her causing her to whirl around in a defensive position. Had she not been utterly terrified, she would have been proud how quickly she had reacted. 

There, in front of her, stood a desire demon. 

“How did you get in here?” Lin hissed; hands held in a way that could conjure a lightning strike without a second thought. The demon seemed to feel no threat though, strolling past her to examine a wall outlet and the carbon monoxide detector that resided there.

“You were surprisingly easy to slip into, my dear,” she (or what Lin assumed to be she) replied as she poked at the detector.

“Well, I hope you enjoyed your stay, but get the fuck out,” Lin replied venomously while the demon moved on to the light switch and flicked it on and off, seeming delighted by the ceiling light complying to the switch’s commands.

“Oh, I don’t think so… Andi,” The demon chuckled as she abandoned the switch and began to saunter up to Lin.

Lin gritted her teeth as she backed away from the demon. Naturally the first dream she had in days and she was going to get possessed by a desire demon.

“That’s not my name,” Lin replied as the demon slipped around her, smooth as a snake, to gaze out the bay window that gave a view of the front yard. 

“It was—though, and it can be again,” the demon purred, taking in the lilac bushes that lined the perimeter of the front yard with interest. 

“You can’t possibly offer me such a thing,” Lin said but her voice was unsure. In truth, she had no idea what these otherworldly beings were capable of doing. She hadn’t paid nearly enough attention to the codex entrees when it came down to it and she definitely was a special case…

“Of course, I can,” the demon replied, turning and delicately sitting on the bench inlaid into the bay window. Her tail that had been previously obscured now swished lazily behind her, reminding Lin of what she was.

“No, no you can’t…You can only offer an illusion, nothing real,” Lin looked away, hoping that would be enough to dismiss her.

“But it would feel real, you could awaken in your home, go see your family, your friends and know nothing is different,” She reclined, elbows on the window sill while she crossed her legs. The demon was perfectly at ease, seeming assured Lin would see her side of the argument.

“You could be Andi, again,” that hit Lin right where it hurt because she knew, even if she could go back this second, she wouldn’t be the same old Andi. Andi had never cast spells, Andi had never put the common good ahead of herself, Andi had never seen others die…Andi had never killed.

“No, no, get the fuck out of my head!” Lin yelled, lightning gathering at her fingertips. A sudden wave of agitation and despair rose inside her making the desire demon flinch before her eyes glowed an eerie pink.

“Not until you submit! I will keep you here for the rest of eternity if I-,” The demon stood, expression twisted with rage when something seemed to have struck her.  
Both looked down at the demon’s chest where a gaping hole had suddenly appeared. It was rimmed with ice and Lin knew immediately that it was not her own doing. The only ice mage she had met so far was-

Sitting bolt upright, Lin gasped. She was drenched in sweat, shaking like a leaf as she frantically looked around. The predawn light illuminated the surrounding landscape of the outskirts of Val Royeaux and she could hear the song birds calling in the distance. She was back, she was safe… And she felt eyes upon her.

Turning slowly, she locked eyes with her savior. He looked at her through the opening of his tent, eyes dark and unreadable. 

“Th-thank you Solas, I really appr-,”

“I require an explanation.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AH!!! This was almost spur of the moment, but I'm tired of keeping my girl just out on the edge and not letting her speak the way she really wants! Perhaps slowly easing the truth out into the open will work out best for her! I also figured it would be easier in the early stages because we all know deception gets worse the longer it goes on. Anyways, I hope ya'll are still enjoying it! let me know if there is anything I can correct, I've already done some self editing (for the better, I think)! Thank you!


	7. (Update)

Hey everyone! I’m updating this here cause AO3 doesn’t have a general message board (that I’m aware of at least). I’m going to get back to this as soon as I can. I’ve had some medical issues that needed to be taken care of and have been also working 40hr weeks too ( yay summer break...). I’ve also been in the process of transferring my work to another computer recently! I just wanted to let ya’ll know this hasn’t been abandoned and I appreciate any understanding in the matter. Lin will return soon, as will I!

-The Superest of Firballs


	8. Agitation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Solas is upset, but who wouldn't be? He keeps his promise but that can only last so long, right?

“What even are you?” Solas hissed quietly, pacing back and forth like a caged wolf. He had refused to look at Lin after she had stood and gestured he follow her. They ended up a few yards from what was to be her own tent for the night prior.

“What were you doing in my dreams?” Lin countered; her arms folded tightly across her chest. She knew she would have a lot to explain but she knew she wasn’t the only party at fault here, either. Besides, the way he was behaving towards her made her stomach twist.

“I believe ‘saving you’ would be the appropriate description,” Solas spat, coming to an immediate stop before turning to face her head on. She regretted the words as she coiled back, terrified. This invoked a slight softening of Solas’s features, but he still remained at a distance while he waited for her response.

“I’m… Well I’m definitely not one of -you-, but I’m not really -anything- to this world,” she finally replied after an impatient huff from the Elf.

“That means nothing, tell me what you are,” The Mage responded almost immediately, and she had to give him that. Chewing on her bottom lip for a moment, she thought of how best she could explain her existence. The feeling was that of trying to tell someone of something indescribable.

 “I’m a human, but not your type of human…I’m from a different world where there is no such thing as, well, any of this except in…” she trailed off, not exactly sure how to describe that his very existence should only be numbers and code. The fact that they were standing right in the middle of what shouldn’t exist wasn’t helping, either.

“In?” He pressed as he slowly approached. His body language was still incredibly tense but at least his expression had gone from enraged to curiously uneasy.

“The best comparison I have to the experience would be like looking through an Eluvian into the fade, but being completely unable to access the other side,” purposely, Lin omitted the whole inhabiting another’s body because she didn’t want to think about the idea that she may be inside a once viable person, and she didn’t need to have Solas screaming ‘abomination’ at the top of his lungs, though that might’ve been a long shot.

“How much of our world have you seen?” The elf had a strange tenseness to his tone that made Lin twitch, but she chose to ignore it, worrying her bottom lip instead.

“Enough to know that after sealing the breach we will run in to a myriad of other problems, but none we can’t manage with some careful planned escape routes,” her answer was cryptic and she could see the rampant curiosity that overwhelmed Solas, but he managed to subdue the look quickly.

“I suppose we will get to that promptly, but for now, are you the only one who…watches us?” Solas asked, voice quiet, while he resumed a slow pace. Lin had intended on elaborating to the previous question had he pressed, though she couldn’t say she wasn’t relieved to have some time to arrange her thoughts and recall exactly the time line of events.

“I would like to say no, but there are others,” Lin murmured as she tiredly sat on a long fallen tree that lie in the small clearing, “I can’t imagine any of them have really seen your personal world or have landed themselves in the middle of all this though, it would be easy to tell.”

“How would you be able to tell?” Solas’s seemed as though his mind was racing though his words and movements were deliberate. Lin grew increasingly nervous with every pivot he made to pace.

“Surely you’ve noticed how awkward I am in this world?” Lin remarked, rubbing her tired eyes.

“I…Indeed,” he agreed, slowing to a stop to look at Lin. This time though, it was a hard look, as if he was trying to look through her. Lin maintained eye contact even with every instinct screaming to break and run.

“You truly mean us no harm,” there was no question in his tone, just a note of sympathy. Lin wasn’t sure why, but the sudden release from the weeks of façade made her tear up again. Maker, would she ever have a day with no emotional outbursts?

“Of course I don’t, I’m not here by choice and I want nothing more than to make it out with everyone alive, but that’s too much to promise because I know next to nothing of this world, no matter how long I viewed it from the outside,” Lin had to force the words out around the lump in her throat, tears threatening to fall.

Together, they lingered in the small clearing, Lin struggling to bring herself back together while Solas gave her the courtesy of looking away.

“The others will awaken soon, let us return…However, do not think this is the last we will speak of this,” Solas finally murmured, walking to Lin and lifting her by the arm. His grip was not tight or dominating, but he dropped his grasp as soon as she was on both feet.

“I understand but please,” she stopped him before he could get too far ahead, “I can’t handle the rest of you quite yet…I need some time to figure out how to break it to them gently.”

Solas hesitated, glancing toward the camp before looking back to her. Lin knew she was putting a lot of stock into him keeping her confidence, but at that moment, she had no other choice.

“Very well,” he replied.

 

Lin was most definitely dragging ass to the gates of Val Royeaux after Varric and Cassandra had woken, ready to face the Chantry. Solas had maneuvered ever so carefully that the pair remained between himself and Lin as the morning progressed. Though the Elf didn’t openly scorn her, the gesture bit hard at Lin’s chest, leaving her to bleed quietly.

There was too much happening for her to dwell, though, as Leliana’s scout approached the group. Lin didn’t want to stop but knew that not acknowledging the scout would probably raise Varric and Cassandra’s suspicion. Instead, she gazed up the walkway to the city gates as Cassandra spoke. Solas was in her periphery there and if she couldn’t see him looking at her, she definitely felt it.

As soon as the conversation broke, Lin was on the move. Her tiredness was quickly turning into a buzzing annoyance in the back of her mind, a wave of jitteriness taking the forefront. She knew it was a desperate attempt by her body to keep her alert, as futile as it was.

“Did you sleep even a little, kid?” Varric questioned softly at her right. Trying her best not to recoil in surprise, she glanced down at the Dwarf.

“No,” the reply was curt and left no room for question. Varric seemed to realize this as well, holding his hands up in surrender and slowing his pace to fall back with Cassandra and Solas.

 

The gathering with the Chantry went as expected, save for some quick thinking on Lin’s part. Instead of waiting for the Mother to be knocked down, she lithely mounted the stage and grabbed the Knight Captain’s arm. The rush of malice the elf felt roiling off the man practically burned her as she threw his hand back at him.

Her mark had throbbed with a heated pain as the Knight Captain sneered at her, but she could see something in his eyes she hadn’t in the game. There was confusion, an uneasiness that made Lin feel even more nervous than normal. The look was akin to the one Solas had given her not hours ago.

Still, the man brushed her and the Inquisition off as nothing but a nuisance, proceeding on with the story line.

Lin allowed Cassandra to spearhead the majority of the conversation for the rest of their stay, even when the arrow with the message from Red Jenny appeared and the approach of Lady Vivienne’s messenger interrupted the former discussion.

She followed silently as they hunted for the clues around the city, remaining in the shadows as much as possible. The behavior was a defense mechanism, her stomach twisted tight now that the annoyance had worn off and she was back to the feelings of the morning.

Avoiding Solas was another goal of the defense, though that wasn’t difficult. Solas seemed to be playing with the same game plan. He remained a few steps ahead of and away from the group, his eyes cast out to the distant bustle of the city whenever he was not being directly addressed.

“This is the last clue,” Cassandra sighed as she fished out the red trinket from behind a plant on the upper levels of the city.

“Anything interesting?” Varric asked, seeming to pick up that neither Elves in the party would bother contributing to the discussion at that point.

“A location and time to meet… maybe it is best we do not investigate, we hardly know who this “Red Jenny” is,” Cassandra mused, eyes flicking to Lin as she leaned against a windowsill, arms folded across her chest. Juvenile in gesture? Yes, but Lin felt more protected that way.

“What do you think, your poutiness?” Varric casually called over his shoulder and Lin wanted to glare daggers at him. He was absolutely correct in his observation, but still.  
“We’ll take a look, see if it’s anything worth while and if not,” the Elf shrugged away from the window, “we’ll leave.”

“Surely it must be a trap,” this time it was not Cassandra speaking, but Solas. He had been casually seated on the railing of the balcony on which they resided, doing a better job at hiding his emotions. Now, there was almost a dare in his tone, trying to pull information from Lin that he knew she knew while he stared directly at her. Lin grimaced and shrugged, steel in her tone as she replied.

“We won’t know until we get there.”

Sara’s manical laughter was getting on Lin’s nerves as she flung another jolt of lightening at an incoming assailant, sans breeches. The elf had never practically cared for Sara in the beginning of her play through, finding her childish and hard to read for the right answer. In time though, she grew to appreciate the archer. Now, she was half tempted to freeze her in a pillar of ice and leave her to melt till the morning.

Luckily, the fighting subsided very soon after Cassandra carved through the last man standing.  
“That was fun, ‘specially when he tried to say more than just wh-,” Sara began, bouncing over to Lin. 

Lin had already heard the explanation of Red Jenny and was quickly developing a headache, so she interrupted.

“Indeed, rich snobs always try to get more than what they’re given, yeah?” Lin tried not to sink into a fake cockney accent as she said the words, giving Sara an opportunity to grin and chuckle.

“I knew you’d get it!” The archer exclaimed as she holstered her bow.

“Let’s cut to it, then, you seem adept and connected if you could ferret this pish bag out, so why not join the inquisition, help us close the hole in the sky?” Lin questioned as they weaved through the bodies to the exit. Naturally, she heard Cassandra make a disgruntled noise, as well as Varric’s heavy sigh and Solas’s surprising silence in the matter.

Sara seemed surprised as well, then a little suspicious.

“Just like that then?” She asked Lin, mistrust bleeding into her expression.

“I know when I see someone who actually has their priorities set straight,” Lin replied, her eyes flicking up to the sky. Even here they could see the remnants of the breech bleeding through, hair thin tendrils pulsing green across the night.

That seemed to satisfy the archer as she nodded before looking around.

“You gonna take any of the good stuff?”

Madam De Fer's salon was just as lavish as was depicted on Lin’s TV screen when she went to recruit the Mage. She hadn’t used her much and only barely scratched the surface of her subplot. She had given her the true snowy wyverns heart, wanting to see what she intended to use it for.

The elf frowned as she remembered the heartbreak on Vivienne’s face.

Shaking the thought from her, she rejoined the conversation she had been roped into by the two guest who never gave their names upon first entry. Politely she nodded and commented that everything was true, of course, before the pompous elite came to challenge her.

Knowing the outcome, she hardly spared him a glance, eyes on the staircase. Madam Vivienne appeared rather ostentatiously, snapping her fingers with all the dramatic flair Lin had become accustomed to when dealing with the Orlesians. 

After allowing the noble to disappear, disregarding any threat he might have flung as serious, she joined Vivienne on a quiet walk through the chateau.

They chatted politely about the trip, how she was enjoying Val Royeaux, all the pleasantries that were expected before Vivienne stopped and turned to Lin. Lin had anticipated her stating she would join the inquisition but the words that came out of the woman’s mouth chilled her.

“You are quite the player of the game, my dear, but both you and I know you are not who you claim to be.”

“I’m not sure what you’re saying to me, madam Vivienne,” Lin replied as calmly as she could, leaning against the open window they’d stopped by. The elf used it as an excuse to gaze out at the night sky. It was hard to believe she was fighting people with no pants just the night prior.

“You aren’t the Herald of Andraste, are you?” Vivienne questioned but Lin knew the circle mage had her answer already. Perhaps it was for the best.

“I am not, no, I am a being from a whole other realm...at least, that’s what it feels like,” Lin quietly answered, still not meeting Vivienne’s gaze, though she felt it on her; burning a hole through her.

“I see...”

It was silent for several moments after the admission. Lin snuck a glance and saw Vivienne herself was gazing out of the window.

“Truly, I was not expecting you were of another world, just that you were not of the clan Lavallen, but a lone Mage thrown to the wilds to prevent possession...but it makes sense,” Vivienne spoke in a way that made each word sound weighted. It was unsettling to Lin, but she waited for...what, she wasn’t sure. There had to be some sort of one two punch coming, though.

“You’re surprisingly quiet after such an admission, my dear.”

“I’m honestly waiting for you to kill me,” Lin replied, rubbing the back of her neck tiredly. She couldn’t muster the energy to be tense anymore. The events of the past few days (or more than a month, she could no longer tell) left her tapped out, a well long since run dry.

“I’m no brute,” Vivienne chuckled, “ besides, my people have watched you since this whole thing began...This conversation puts every action reported into a much clearer light.”

“You had people watching...you know what, that’s actually not surprising as I want it to be,” Lin grumbled, righting herself away from the wall, squaring her shoulders and catching Vivienne’s gaze head on.

“Want to see what it’s like first hand?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all who have patiently (or at least quietly) waited for the update! I'm glad to finally have some time to write, as well as the energy and hope to get back to a regular schedule soon! and yay more story telling *sighs* I'm getting to the naughty stuff soon...or am I? *evil laughter that trails off into coughing*... but seriously, its progressing.


	9. Admissions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to come clean, but who will stay by a liar's side? And how much will this cost Lin? Hopefully not her life.

Vivienne would join The Inquisition shortly, after she settled her affairs at home. Lin was fine with that, one less person to deal with especially when she told the council...and her colleagues.

As they group rode back to Haven, Lin could feel the tension that had briefly dissipated come raging back. Her shoulders cramped as she held her reigns too tightly.

“ I didn’t realize Orlesian Mages made you so nervous, kid,” Varric tried breaking the unusually silent ride with a joke and she could hear Solas scoff. Trying her best not to throw a glare at the bald Mage, she peered at Varric and sighed.

“It’s not that...we need to talk about something.”

“Are you breaking up with me?” Varric teased but even Lin could see an uneasiness creep into his smile.

“It’s not you, it’s me...”

\--

They had set up camp before Lin would breath a word of the admission she had made to both Vivienne and Solas. The entire time she set up her tent, her stomach would pitch and roil as she thought of the best way to put it. Unsure of whether she could count on Solas to defend her, she tried to focus on calling up her mana reserves. This was something she had briefly discussed with the aforementioned Mage, but never practiced it. Solas must have assumed the inexperience was from living with a clan but now he saw right through her, she was sure.

“Gonna keep us waiting all night, kid? Nobody likes a tease,” Varric had reverted to what he knew best when he was nervous, jokes. Almost every other sentence from his mouth after they dismounted their horses was some sort of quip or jest. She preferred that to Cassandra’s stony silence, however.

The warrior sat, staring hard at Lin. If she weren’t so sure, Lin would’ve been worried Cassandra could set her ablaze with that kind of scrutiny.

“ There is something I need to tell you and I would appreciate if you save any reaction for the end, until I’ve said everything I need to say,” Lin said quickly as she shifted nervously from foot to foot, positioning herself so the fire was between her and the others, the woods at her back. She knew Solas didn’t factor into the equation but she did flick her gaze to him to be sure.

The Elf leaned against a tree, staring at the fire with a blank look on his face.

With one last calming breath, Lin returned her eyes to the others.

“I’m not the herald of Andraste...and I never will be.”

\--

Lin spoke for, what felt like, hours. The sun had been setting when she began. It was now pitch black save for the fire that Cassandra would occasionally stoke while the imposture elf told her tale. The first time the warrior stood to address the waning flame Lin tensed, her speech breaking as she waited to be knocked on her ass. But Cassandra said nothing as she dropped a log in the pit and sat back down, gesturing lazily for Lin to continue. So Lin did.

She explained the situation as best she could, how much she knew, what she didn’t know (which seemed to be most of the explanation), and anything she thought would be good information. When she finally fell silent, she felt better in someways and worse in others.

Eventually looking away from the fire, she was able to gauge everyone’s reaction.

Solas had moved to sit with the group, his face pensive. That was better than the blank or mistrusting looks from before, but now the blank look had moved to Cassandra’s face and the mistrust to Varric’s.

“I’m, uh, I’m finished...” Lin clarified as she wrung her hands. Gods, she could feel the mana she had been building humming through her as she waited for the first blow, but she also felt something else. It was tight to her skin, a tingling sensation that she wasn’t used to. Was she having a heart attack or something?

“Well, we will certainly need to discuss this with the council when we return,” Cassandra broke the silence, pursing her lips.

“And tell them what? We have another Mage that’s touched in the head? Like Anders?” Varric bit out, standing. His brow was furrowed, his eyes hard, and the look he gave her made her feel about one foot tall.

Lin flinched at the venom in the archer’s tone, not expecting animosity from the one person she was quickly considering one of her closest friends in this nightmare situation.

“Varric, she isn’t lying,” Solas replied, surprising Lin. She wasn’t expecting the Mage to defend her in any regard at this point. Solas caught her look and raised his eyebrows.

“Isn’t that right, Andi?” Lin wouldn’t lie, the way he said her human name made her shiver. 

Not right friggin’ now, she quietly scolded herself internally as she nodded, dumbfounded.

“I can’t deal with this, with any of you...” Varric finally grumbled, turning and stomping to his tent.

Silence fell for a moment before Cassandra cleared her throat, drawing Lin’s attention back to the stoic warrior.

“Any more revelations you care to speak of?” She asked as she began retrieving rations from the pack she had next to her. Lin hadn’t even noticed it, she had been so focused on not getting stuck with a sword.

“I...why...why aren’t you freaking out like you did at the conclave?” Lin finally blurted while   
Cassandra began to pick at some sort of jerky.

Cassandra cocked an eyebrow, looking up to Lin, “would you prefer I “freak out”?”

“No! Bu-but...you’re the one who I thought would be mad...” like Varric is now.

Cassandra sighed at the admission, much like a tired parent dealing with an unruly child. The type of sigh that said “I’m not mad, just disappointed.”

“Andi...”

“Please...it’s Lin now.”

“Very well, Lin. I am someone who believes that one’s actions speak much louder than their words. This is why I despise Orlesian parties...and also why I see you as someone who is not the stranger I mistrusted some time ago. You have shown that you are a person that is very well focused on helping all you can, you are understanding of when others come to you with conflict, and, though your admission has taken this long, it is clear that you have agonized over it and this speaks for you as well.”

Lin could’ve cried, she was so relieved but instead she gave a firm nod.

“Thank you, Cassandra,” she mumbled while the warrior stood.

“You’re welcome, but understand this...you will still be watched, Herald.” And with that, the warrior turned to her own tent, leaving Solas and Lin to themselves by the fire.

Lin let out a heavy breath as she sat down hard, the strange feeling of a second skin having dissipated. That went better than expected... but Varric was angry. She supposed she understood why. He had been betrayed by so many, she was just another name on the list. There was no way of knowing if he would ever come around, but pursuing him tonight would just serve to further agitate him, that she knew.

“I have to say, I am surprised you confessed,” Solas's soft voice sounded much closer than Lin was expecting. Then again, she had been staring at the dying fire, considering all that had transpired. Now, the Elf had sat himself beside her on the ground, both gazing at what was little more than embers. 

“Yeah, well, I'm just a party ball full of amazement,” Lin remarked bitterly as she picked up a pebble and tossed it into the pit, anything to occupy her hands, “I'm surprised you're done giving me the silent treatment.”

It was Solas's turn to sigh, his body shifting towards her in her periphery. She didn't flinch or resist when he took her chin in his hand and tilted her head to him. The gesture was uncharacteristicly tender, taking Lin slightly aback. His eyes were soft, his expression was contrite and his lips were almost close enough to touch with her own. But he didn't move in, instead he closed his eyes and shook his head.

“I agree, I was being childish in my attempt to understand you, this creature of another world that took such a pleasing form...I wondered if you were a demon, or a wayward spirit caught in a possession...” His words were firm but his expression wavered before he dropped his hand, shifting back to create some distance as his eyes popped back open “ but you weren't... Surely you could see why I was so weary...I did not expect you to bare yourself so readily to the others nor to even stay.”

While that brought up images Lin wasn't quite prepared for, especially the remark of her pleasing form, she managed to keep her expression neutral as she considered his side of the coin. One could never truly know what another was thinking. It would have been somewhat easy for her to disappear into the crowd when they confronted the Chantry, after all. Then what, though? She still had no idea how to get back home.

“I don't like secrets, Solas...I spent a lot of my younger years hiding things and now that I'm in my twenties, well was in my twenties- I don't know how you mark age in this world-, I have learned that transparency is best in life or death matters,” Lin spoke slowly, considering her words while she moved to stand, “self preservation said to keep my mouth shut in the beginning, but now any further silence would just condemn me when the truth comes out and it always does. Besides, hiding from what I am was getting incredibly tiring.”

Speaking of tiring things, she felt her head swim with exhaustion, her body having finally released some tension from her admission and the mana she had been building slowly reabsorbing into her system. She knew she'd be just as tense again tomorrow when she had to confront the council, but her worn mind was demanding sleep and she was too willing to comply.

“I can speak more in the morning, but for now, it's bed time...”

\--

Just like her party the previous night, the council was deathly quiet after her admission was finished. Cassandra stood off to Lin's left, seeming far too relaxed. Having the Nevarran there was at least somewhat of a comfort, though. Maybe the warrior would provide some defense when Cullen tried to lop of her head,which seemed to be what he was itching to do; hand on his pommel, eyes dark with anger. Josephine and Leliana shared a look, seeming to have a silent conversation themselves.

“Who else have you told, Herald?” Josephine finally questioned as both women looked back to the pseudo-Elf. Lin blinked in surprise, tearing her eyes away from the reluctant staring contest she had gotten into with Cullen.

“Uh...Well, there's Solas, Cassandra, Varric, you guys...Lady Vivienne.” She winced as the council reacted with displeasure at the last name.

“Lady Vivienne can be persuaded to be quiet,” Leliana muttered to Josephine who had began to scrawl quickly on her ever present parchment board. Josephine made a soft noise and shook her head.

“I will speak to her myself, she will usually hold information if she finds it valuable to serve her own whims... I am honestly surprised she did not react more aggressively towards the Herald, seeing as she is the Head Enchantress of the Orlesian Mages,” Josephine's tone was strained as she whispered her reply to Leliana.

“I can hear you two... And I was just as surprised but she mentioned that her people have been watching us and it made my actions make sense,” Lin replied, the women once again directing their attention back to her. She wasn't sure if that was any better when they both paled at the admission.

“So what are we to do?” Cassandra asked, arms folded. She was always good at getting down to the point of things and Lin admired her for that.

“Jail her, I say,” Cullen replied firmly, all eyes snapping to him. He squared his shoulders, glaring at Lin as if he was just waiting for her to morph into a demon and rip his head off. Of course, she couldn't blame him after the horrors he had seen and what he had faced at Kinloch and Kirkwall.

“Commander, she is not an abomination, we have already looked for that,” Cassandra said tiredly as she looked to Leliana and Josephine for a more practical solution. Cullen looked disgruntled but the reminder seemed to have taken the wind out of his sails, though it did bother Lin to know they had checked her for possession without her knowledge.

“ For now, we say nothing. We will decide who is to be privy to this information.” Leliana responded as she placed her hands on the war table and leaned forward, “Are we understood?”

“But that's keeping information from the public,” Lin felt her fists clench as she stared at the Spymaster. She did not want people rallying around a false prophet because they had been told nothing but lies, that never led to anything good.

“I have to agree with our Spymaster, Herald,” Josephine said sheepishly as she stared intently at her board, trying not to make eye-contact with the Elf, “She is only wanting what is best for the Inquisition and if it were found out that you were a being from another world... Well, I think that would hurt our cause and give our enemies an advantage that we cannot afford right now.”

“That's not tru-” Lin began but Cassandra's hand on her shoulder stopped her. She looked back at the warrior with a question clearly on her face. Cassandra was staring at Leliana, though, her eyes hard. After several seconds, Leliana sighed and righted herself.

“We will continue to discuss this... Say nothing of the matter until we have reached a decision,” Leliana finally said as she turned her gaze back to the map, “Now, onto your decision as to who we contact to help seal the breach.”

“What? You want me to decide that when I just dropped a bomb on ya'll?” Lin couldn't help but revert back to a more familiar way of speaking now that there was no facade to keep up, at least around the council.

“You apparently have the most foresight on what is to come,” Cullen remarked bitterly, “why don't you use it?”

Lin glanced at Cullen, fully aware of the hurt she was displaying on her face. The former Templar had the decency to look away sheepishly. At least he seemed to be aware that he was being a bit boorish.

“You're right...Here's what I think we should do...”

\--

The meeting lasted from the late morning, when they had first arrived back at Haven, until the evening. They went over the details of what Lin needed to do to secure the help of the Templars, though she knew that vote would be unpopular with a certain Mage in the group. However, she was looking at the long game and surely no one could be more difficult than Samson was. Besides...Seeing the monstrosities that were born of red Lyrium was enough to sway her to saving any innocents she could from that fate.

Cullen seemed to warm just a little bit more towards Lin when she made the decision but she was a little weary when describing the state of the Knight-Commander and Sir Barris's interaction with her at the Chantry meeting. She also left out the uneasiness she felt when she realized she had never been confronted by First Enchantress Fiona. Perhaps the jaunt around the city looking for Red Jenny clues had taken longer than she expected and the Enchantress had grown tired of waiting. Thinking anymore about it would give Lin a stomach ache and she did not need to add that to the hollow feeling of being hungry.

“If the Enchantress does indeed reside at Red Cliff castle, I will send a messenger there to deliver a message begging her to reconsider if what you say is true,” Josephine mumbled after Lin gave a brief run down of what was transpiring in The Hinterlands.

“And I will seek to contact King Alistair through my spy network, perhaps this can be prevented...if it is true,” Leliana mused, seeming much calmer than her fellow council members. Who knew what the Nightengale was hiding in those eyes?

As the council emerged from the war room, Leliana disappeared to her camp, Josephine made a beeline for her chambers to most likely scrawl a letter to Lady Vivienne since she had yet to arrive,and Cassandra headed towards the tavern. Lin was going to follow in her lead, being on the edge of starved but yet another hand on her shoulder stopped her. It was a little harsh at first but when she glanced back at Cullen with a pained look he loosened his grip, grimacing at his own hand before dropping it to the pommel of his sword. This seemed to be the only way he could relax, she noted, while she waited for him to speak.

“I am...Sorry for my reaction early,” he said quietly, expression still firm and eyes still hard. 

“Uh...Yeah, ok, I accept your apology, Commander,” she replied, pursing her lips and looking at the ground like a scolded child. Surely it hadn't been even a week since they had been flirting and he had been a kind, gentle, possible suitor to her. Now, she wasn't sure he would actually ever trust her again or if she would ever forget the pure hatred in his expression for her not hours ago.

“With all I have experienced in the past-” Cullen began and Lin sighed.

“I know what you've been through, Cullen, remember?”

“...And as unsettling as that is... It does not give me a right to judge you so immediately and so harshly,” he adjusted his sentence as he spoke, clearly not expecting Lin's admission but continuing anyways, “ I have lost some of my most treasured friends by acting rashly and...Seeing as you put your trust in us, we-... I should afford you the same courtesy.”

Lin frowned but looked back up at him. The Templar himself was gazing at his feet, mouth pressed in a flat line as he waited for a response. If Lin wasn't so upset by his behavior, she would have found the gesture adorable. However, she wasn't ready to see him like that again quite yet.

“Thank you, Commander,” Lin murmured before moving to turn away. She didn't think she could say much else without the frustration and hurt she felt bleeding through.

“Herald, I-” Cullen started, looking up with a sadness in his eyes that cut deep into the sensitive side of Lin but she held up a hand as a gesture to stop him. She was far too much of a softy and she was sure that would bite her in the ass at some point.

“Cullen, relax...It's still Lin to you,” and with that, she turned on her heel and made her way to find anything to put into her gurgling gut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok! So I went on a bit of a writing binge! Lin is finally getting things off her chest and yeah, yeah, it seems to all be accepted a little easily. Well, maybe not too easily in some people's cases. But in a world full of old Gods and holes in the sky,what else can really surprise people? I figured Cassandra was more of a "seeing is believing kind of person" but that's just my opinion. We'll see how good Lin is at keeping her promise to Leliana in the upcoming chapters as well hehehe


End file.
